Moment of vulnerability here, wondering if anyone has had a similar experience before.

I completely LOST it on another person's kid today when I thought they had intentionally hurt my daughter, but I was wrong and now I feel horrible.

Context: on a road trip with another family. The other child has behavioral issues and has been known to get physical in the past with others at school and daycare. Over the course of the trip he's been pretty poorly behaved and aggressive but not downright violent... but I had it in the back of my mind that it could happen.

My daughter was playing with him in the other room, then suddenly runs out screaming, bleeding from the mouth and saying that he had hit her. I've never experienced anyone intentionally hurt my little girl and I instantly flew into protective dad mode before properly assessing the situation. In my mind he had punched her in the mouth.

I stormed into the room and flew into a rage, screaming at the absolute top of my lungs, pointing my finger in the kid's face saying to NEVER touch her EVER again. His mom was right behind me. He was likely terrified and I was honestly way beyond any level of anger I've ever felt.

In the next minute or two my daughter then clarified that it was an accident and they had been playing rough but had unintentionally slammed into each other.

The boy cried, his mom was in shock, and she also had tears in her eyes. I feel absolutely awful about the whole situation, I should have had more self control, and I'm a little in shock how quickly I became an absolute monster to a young kid.

I apologized in the moment to both of them and sent a message after saying I should have handled the situation better.

Just really upset about the whole thing, unsure how to proceed now. Any girl dads out there ever have this happen to them?

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Kid needed to hear it. Mom / dad probably never disciplines him that’s why he has the issues

I tend to agree here but his time he had done nothing

That's why reputation is significant. Incidents are not isolated, and now that little shit might become a human instead.

Chin up, your intentions were pure. Sorry you’re feeling the way you are feeling, definitely sounds like an awkward situation. Following to see the responses others offer … I’ve got a young little gal so this is very relevant for me. Thanks for putting yourself out there.

It's an important lesson for them that even adults make mistakes.

Props to you for apologizing and trying to make it right after the error.

This has not happened to me (yet), but I could absolutely see it happening to me. I mean, you said you saw blood. If my little girl were bleeding and told me someone hit her, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t stop and ask any questions. But I appreciate you sharing this story, because it’s helpful to think proactively about this. I guess taking immediate control of the situation doesn’t necessarily require rage.

Seems to me like a good move to apologize to the mom and son, because it’s probably never a bad idea to model that we are all still learning.

Boy dad but don’t be so hard on yourself. Animal instincts kick in when your kid is hurt. Glad you apologized

The most important thing is you realize it fren and you learned from it…….

James 1:19

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,”

I think the fact you are recognizing your overreaction and took steps to apologize is just as important as the reaction .

Many parents would wrongfully double down in this scenario. Hopefully they recognize that and you can move past it.

100% this (also please add LN address so I can zap u for this post)

Don’t beat yourself up, man. Take encouragement from the fact that you have those instincts and that you had the maturity to own it once you had a chance to fully understand the situation. We had a young boy in the row houses we lived in when the kids were little that legit did hit my daughter. And I don’t think he ever did it to anyone again after I put a little fear in him. You may have done that kid and his parents a favor ultimately. ✌🏽👊🏼

Don't be too hard on yourself we all make mistakes.

The only thing you can do now is apologize to the kid and his parents.

That sucks... I'm sure many of us have done it. It's hard to not fly off the handle in those situations. Angrily gathering the facts before going full on rage monster would have been better. Their will be a next time and you'll have an opportunity to do better then.

I still remember when a friend's dad slammed me against the back of their hallway whenever I was about 8 and he thought I hurt their younger son because he was crying and pointing at me. I don't remember what I did, but I didn't hurt him. I think he wanted something that we were doing and ended up hurting himself trying? It's been a while and details are blurry. My friend, the brother that was my age explained what happened to his dad. I just remember the dad pushing me on my chest into the wall and yelling at me saying what did you do all the while being in my face. I don't remember if I ever told my parents that. I remember my friends mom holding me and making sure I was okay.

I would burn the entire world to ash for my daughter and I won’t apologize for that. Just make sure you have all the facts next time.

as a father of a little girl myself, I can absolutely understand your behavior and your feelings right now.

Once the damage is done, however, we can only apologize for our mistake and learn to self control ourself for the next time.

Don't know what the best way to apologize, beside words, would be.

Maybe ask to talk with the the other boy and his parents (if they agree) to apologize in person and explain what happened? Maybe this would be a lesson for them too?

This is a great learning opportunity. As the excellent teacher that you are, what advice would you give to a student of yours who had done the same thing? You know it was an accident on your part but knowing that doesn’t make the feelings easy to deal with. Give yourself a grace period to feel a bit of healthy guilt. You’re not a bad person.

I think it's an honest mistake. Don't beat yourself up for it. It think it speaks volumes that you took action. If that had happened you would just be a good protective parent. 🫂💜

And , the fact that you feel bad means your moral compass is aligned 😉

Send the mom some #btc in an opendime and tell her to open it in 10 years.

IMHO, you don’t need to do more and YOU know you’re a good person.

Not sure how old the kid is, but they’ll either forget, or this will be a small component of their life journey and will make them a better person too.

If that’s not enough, ask yourself, what would you want if you were that kid.

You aren't alone I've done that with my kids too. You just have to apologize and move on.

Good looking out for your own though 🍻

I don’t have kids of my own yet, but halfway through reading - even knowing that a “but” was coming - I felt protective of your child.

Your reaction was natural, even if it wasn’t okay, and your feelings about it now are demonstrative that your heart is good. If the moment presents itself in the next couple days, let the boy’s mom (and perhaps the boy as well) know how awful you feel about it.

It could be that he acts out because someone has treated him badly, or because he hasn’t had someone model “right” behavior. It may even be formative (in a good way) for him to see your vulnerability and concern for him. Again, if the vibe is right.

Ultimately, it’s okay. And even though it was a mistake, your daughter knows without question now that if anybody ever actually messes with her, they’re sure as hell not going to get away with it.

🫂

Shit happens but if you’re generally really sorry I would express that to both of them again. Everyone makes mistakes but not everyone can man up them and apologize. Heartfelt apologies go a long way and I’m sure you’ll be forgiven if you mean it. Kids also don’t get apologized to often bc a lot of parents think they can treat kids differently than they would an adult

I've had a similar situation with a stressful moment with my young nephew

They got over it. Brother is still a little salty tho

Bet he’ll behave better now.

It’s alright man. We all make mistakes. Sounds like you owned up to it and did what was in your power to make it better. It takes more character to realize you messed up and apologize. All of us can imagine someone hurting our child and what we might do or say.

Don’t beat yourself up.

It’s good for kids to have the fear of God put into them every now and again.

It’s a learning experience. Without contrast we would cease to exist. Now it’s up to you to apply what you learned. I would be appreciative for the opportunity to expand. I’ve been there before with my 2 daughters and my son. I learned to calm myself down in the heat of the moment by reminding myself that masters do not react, they observe 🌹

There's several lessons in there.

It depends on the age to how I'd exactly handle it. But I'd organise an apology play date out, park/cinema/bowling and just lay out the apology that you're sorry for jumping to conclusions but you are protective of people you care about but it's just as important that you right any wrongs.

Haven’t had that exact experience yet but as a father of a daughter I can tell you that what you felt was normal. I’d have lost my shit, too.

The key part is that you didn’t lay hands on him. That would have been a bit fucked.

Treat it as God or the universe or whatever teaching you a lesson about how to react in the future. I don’t know you but you’re probably a good man and it’s good to remind yourself of that. You’ll perform better next time.

There's nothing wrong with that; we all make mistakes in life. The situation taught you something, just like it did for the other two kids and the mom. This is simply life—we learn every day. 🧡

Dang…I’m gutted just thinking about this story

How do you unsay things uv said? Undo actions already done?

Spoiler alert: I don’t think you can🤔

Sometimes it seems life feeds u a turd… I used to tell my kids when this happens I think it’s best not to nibble on it for hours or days but rather swallow it whole and get on with life.

Kids are kids like people are people….sometimes they suck. Still it’s hard to be objective when ur child is hurt and upset. Is it possible this lil boy is one of those bumps/turds in your road? He sounds reprehensible and yet it sounds like you know ur behavior was worse (sorry for my bluntness).

IMHO….you can only control the things you can control…it sounds like the person who needs to be forgiven the most at this moment is you…I think you need to forgive yourself (unconditionally)… humbly and with no excuses (make sure the word “but” isn’t in your apology) ask for the forgiveness of the others including and especially your daughter (remember she’s watching and learning from you)…and then move on with y’all’s life and trip. Things may be a lil awkward but if your words/actions are heart felt your friends (if they are friends) will forgive you…remember in their eyes someone has just attacked their child.

That’s just my 2 stupid sats🤷🏽‍♂️

you seem like a good dude with a kind heart and I hope all goes well🙌🏽

Father to a little girl here. If this were me, this action would be burned into my memory. I’d think about it far too often and I would pray constantly in the years to come for the memory to escape me, but it would stay in my mind as a reminder of what could be in me: that is the potential for great evil at the drop of a hat.

While that might sound awful, I assure you carrying this moment of remembrance will make you more humble. It will remind you of that moment of injustice where you were the poor judge, and also all the moments where you stood innocent in front of the poor judge.

All you can do now is recognize you’re mistake, humble yourself, and turn your character back to goodness and righteousness.

Apologize to everyone, in public, fully exposing the fact that you were wrong and feel terrible. Do it over a meal when people are gathered. Stop conversation, stand up, admit your mistake, ask everyone for to forgive you, then walk directly to that boy and look him in the eyes (again in front of everyone) and ask him again for his forgiveness, then after the boy responds take a moment and encourage the boy with all the great things you see in his life. Then invite others to encourage him after you’ve encouraged him.

Then either hug the boy and say something soft like “sorry buddy” and hug if that’s appropriate and okay with the parents. You got this💜🫂🫡

This is great advice 🌅

Some solid advice.

You obviously don't trust that other kid, and from the sound of it shouldn't either - if what your saying is true about aggressive fits.

Go with your gut feeling man.

That said, being forced to go to school would make me aggressive as well

Spending time with the family and kid clearly shows he does care. A kid with less than optimal socialization might need more understanding and not another dad scaring the shit out of him, telling him to never touch somebody they appreciate again.

Far worse things than erring on the side of protecting your child. Give yourself some grace. You’re a good egg Ben.

🫂

One of the best things about Nostr is that here you can feel free to be vulnerable and almost no one will take advantage of that. 🫂🎨

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I’m sure you will work it out.

You’re a great person for caring so much. ❤️

The kid learned what "reputation" means. It sounds like he got a healthy lesson in it.

Appreciate the realism.

Dont stress it just notice yourself and ask yourself why did you get so mad

You reacted as a good father defending your daughter, and then reacted as a rational person apologizing when it was clarified.

It's not like you beat the kid, which doesn't sounds like a good influence to your daughter honestly.

You are doing good. Keep it up 👍.

Sheesh, terrible parenting my boy.

We’ll each of us make mistakes like this if we live long enough. I’ve had my share of regrets over things I wished I hadn’t done.

When things calm down talk to both children about what happened and why you reacted. They’ll learn from this too.

Bro do not worry you it just called not being a cuck, and people a terrified of the daddy rage just because dads are going instinct. You did good because you did not hit the kid. It was all about yelling and applying pressure, of which the misbehaving kid was obviously lacking. As for my self I either go screaming hysterically at the child or go for the calm soft threatening of the parent when shit goes down at the park.

Hang in there. Give yourself some grace. Remember, it is not the trauma it is what happens after the trauma. Meaning how is it repaired? This makes the difference. You were doing well in repairing and yes, helping the little boy know you were sorry and that you made a mistake in a kind and gentle way will repair that trauma for him.

Dude, everyone who has spent any time with kids has definitely had a moment they are not proud of. Kids will challenge everything you thought you knew about life including your own ability to keep cool under stress. My thoughts on the matter, since others have already told you not to be too hard on yourself, are some tangible actions you can take:

1. Unlearn that response and replace it with something else.

Unlearn that rage response and spend time learning responses that you feel more proud of and that fit more with the person and dad you want to be.

If that was how you were spoken to as a kid or how someone "taught" you how to behave when you were young, you might need to do some work around this. Get support- there's a lot of great stuff out there (therapy, dads groups, etc).

2. Your daughter deserves an apology too.

Not to pile onto your bad feelings, but please consider your daughter in that moment too... she was looking to you for calm and comfort to help her with her stressful situation and then you became enraged and raised the stress level. Whether yelling at the boy was justified or not isn't even the issue in her case; when you became overwhelmed with your own emotions before being curious about or consoling to hers, it amounts to you shutting her down and ignoring her when she asked for help. Not to mention you becoming a danger to her friend and how scary that might have been for her. She had to shut down her feelings in order to explain to you that it was an accident and get you to calm down. All that to say, you might consider apologizing to her and talking through the situation and your mistakes with her too.

For all the fathers of daughters who commented: your daughter will stop telling you things and stop coming to you for help if she can't trust your response to be helpful. Practice now so she'll come to you for more serious situations when she's older.

3. You're doing fucking fantastic.

Your awareness and questioning means you're on the right track. Keep asking! Keep growing and learning and you'll stay a good enough dad and have a great relationship with your kid into adulthood.

As to your question, yes, I did storm towards a 5yo bully kid but I did watch how he pulled my 3yo daughter off a toy on the playground by her hair and threw her to the ground. As my daughter had run to our restaurant table table when I arrived at the toy, she didn't learn anything from my action. That random kid wasn't mine to educate and his father was some tattooed body builder type that ran towards me and wanted to start a fight, so at that point I had decided that it wasn't worth it.

It is to my opinion a normal spontaneous reaction from a loving father seeing his daughter bleeding even if it was unintentional, I guess many if not all fathers would react in a similar way.

Hopefully it has been discussed around the table and the parents understood that maybe they would have act similar if something would happen to their son.

I have 3 boys under 10 and forever losing it with my assumptions 😂

there is no manual for parenting and super hard not to do the things our parents did.

You already apologized so no more you can do there.

Going forward: parenting course / meditation 🤷🏽‍♂️💜🤙🏽

Live and learn, brutha. Send them both Love and Light from your heart. And don't beat yourself up too much. This too shall pass 🙏🏻

Proceed with the fact that your human which makes you fallible, your heart felt apology and the knowledge of your fallibility will bring you growth.

It's understandable that you would be protective of your daughter. But I think the fact that you wrote this should tell you that you know how you could have handled it better.

Forgive yourself and just take a breath next time.

it happens, better he be reminded about how girls have dads than not

girls are like this with physical play, their reactions are always 10x what a boy would do when they get hurt

I can totally understand this type of reaction, and even taking it much further, IF the person who "hit" your daughter had been another adult...

What I really don't like is, when parents or older people downplay or even lie to kids when they feel uncomfortable about a situation. "Forget about it/Not important/Didn't mean it".

Make it very clear to the kid that you didn't knew the whole truth. You just saw the blood and wanted to protect her. You thought you punched her. But your daughter told the truth besides her lip. Thank her for that and not blaming the other kid in front of the boy. These things happen when you play rough and that you really feel sorry at shouting at him.

Don't say they shouldn't play rough, or these things happen, so they feel guilty. Try to remove their guilt completely. While playing rough they learn that they can hurt someone. Off course I don't say play with knives so you learn...

Here comes a somewhat controversial view:

You have a paternal responsibility to protect your daughter.

You knew there was a potential for danger.

You allowed children to play, out of your sight.

Something happened to your daughter.

You reacted to something that happened out of your sight.

Think back, at which point did the problem begin?

Lesson to parent: if you don't want to become the asshole who yells, unjustifiably, at an innocent child, then do the hard work and keep your child in view. Or, face the results and take it like a man. Meaning, hebious corpus, innocent until proven guilty. And by the way, children cannot be proven guilty. They are, by definition, children.

(Btw, yes I've been there, no I didn't do any better, yes a wished I could change it)

We (as humans) are not perfect. However, we can change and we can learn from our failures.

That what good people do 👍

Hi there, greetings from Holland. Dad of three daughters and one son here. Ages now 12,19,21,23.

My two cents, for your consideration.

Firstly, children should learn that adults, too, make mistakes, and that adults, too, have feelings. It happens. Once it has happened you cannot unsay what was said or undo what was done.

What matters MORE is that they should also learn how to behave after having made a mistake. It’s good that you humbly apologised in the moment. Also good that you sent them a (rational?) message.

The only thing that’s not clear is whether you have spoken about emotion; how you still feel about your mistake. This is best done the next time you see them face to face, once the dust has settled.

Just tell him/them you still feel upset/guilty for having overreacted to a young child, apologise again and ask the child if he is willing to accept your apology. If so, case closed. There is nothing more you can do.

And hopefully the child will also learn how to behave the next time that he makes a mistake - which is inevitable.

Hope helpful.

Damn dude that’s so tough. I can’t imagine not acting the same thing way you did.

I’ve had a similar thing with my gf recently where a rage I didn’t know I possessed came over me. Really strange when you think someone has hurt someone you love and protect.

Also I don’t know why but I cant zap the post

say sorry and shit happens.

Teach your daughter jiu-jitsu ✌️

Close quarters, strength required, on the ground. Maybe Krav Maga and track and field.

Be kind to yourself man.

Learn and grow from it.

Do your best to make it right/better with everyone— over time even.

Reasonable people will be open to understanding and moving forward.

It’s ok to have that mental gun, maybe not fire so quick… although completely understandable based on how you described it. Breathe/calm fact gather. Assumptions are futile.

Longer term- Teach her/encourage how to defend herself when she can’t when a fight mentally (by not fighting at all).

🫂

You are obviously a great dad. Otherwise your daughter would not have been this honest. Shit happens and you will or have learned from it.

🫶🏼

Im not dad yet, but almost simillar sit. happened to me with my little sis. I have to guard her all the time, shes my love. But once i did smthn simillar to this. She came home why eyes in cries and i imidiatlly when i heard that one name from her, i imidiatly went out and started shouting to these younger guys horrible thinks. Ofc it was mistake of my lil sis, but i was angry on these little dudes.

But at the end of the day these guys are now adults and they always cheers me.

When i met them in bar like 3 months ago, one of them told me that it was for him example of protect that what you love.

Emotions are hard to control, especially if its emotion about your own child or like my example. Lil siblings are real deal to protect..Im scared of her partyage xd

🫂 I believe we all have this moment were we aren't proud of ourself. You did the good thing by apologizing but you must learn from it. You are a good person.

not ideal , but dad mode is a primal thing, you will probably have the reputation of a crazy unhinged person in their eyes now.

your daughter will know you have her back though

As a previous special education teacher. All I can suggest is you apologize to the child’s parents. I’m glad you realize it was a mistake but any other parent would have reacted the same way.

First, there were some great posts for gaining forgiveness and reconciliation. I'll leave that alone.

Next though might be a little rougher. You called it, "protective dad mode". I'd like to question that a bit in a moment.

My version was my little girl and her mother (my now ex-wife) with anger issues. 13yrs and I'm shaking a bit just thinking about it. She did hurt her in an out of control moment. That scream that you just know isn't a booboo woke me up and I flew into action from dead sleep already knowing the basics.

Now, here is the difference. I would have been in protective mode but, mom was already out of the room. My first concern was my daughter. I comforted her, calmed her down, checked for injury (yes there was minor injury). If it was another child, I would have waited for her to calm and get a clear story. There was no need. Nothing could justify this. I had nothing more to 'protect' in the moment. I stayed with her for about 30 minutes.

Protection, evaluation, comforting over. Then I went into a different mode. No, I was not violent or loud. The look on mom's face told me what she saw in me with my slow, measured, restrained but clearly enraged direct command that this would never, ever, happen again. She looked scared, and she needed to be. If it ever did, I would be in vengeful dad mode. That's what you were in.

Be honest with youself. Protection, comforting, tending and mending are different than justice, punishment and vengence. All are okay in their time and place but, keep them straight and prioritized.

In the movies the good guys always tend the wounded (if there is time) before moving on. You had time. Your daughter was with you and out of danger.

You said this was the first time. Cut youself some slack. I knew the potential was there so I was mentally prepared and rehearsed. I knew what I might do and what would result. Jail, divorce (which came later anyway), and separation from the little girl I had to protect.

A really wise man once said, "Be angry and sin not." You were caught by surprise. It'll happen again. Think on this and be prepared. I'm sure you're most of the way there already.

No can do, mistakes happen. Apologize and move along. I know the feeling when the past mistakes haunt you, but you cannot change the past.

Can't imagine how bad you may have felt about this all crazy scenario 🫣

Only thing you can do about this is to apologize to the young kid and let him know that you did a mistake and it was not his fault. "Jacked Sessions" is also on his side.

After all this awkward moments, at least the young kid will respect you and your daughter bounderices. He knows now he ain't gonna mess with BTC Sessions daughter, because he knows what kind of storm is comming then.

Who knows, maybe after all they two will get married in the future. That slam accident was maybe just a sign 😉

Father of two kids and the son of a counselor for troubled kids. Reality is that you actually isolate your own kid socially with this sort of stuff (and yourself as a parent). I would turn inward and reconsider something sorta philosophical. You are raising your kid, but you’re doing this by also raising the kids around her. When you start there, it’s harder to travel the path you just traveled. Second comment that pops always told me: kids pattern after what you do more than what you say. You earn your way back out by modeling differently, recognizing that one slip resets to zero and actually teaches the negative behavior.

I would have fucked the dad's ass infront of everybody. It's only gay to recieve.

what?

(>_<) your a giver not a taker?

As a dad of kids that aren't so young anymore (13, 11 & 7) I've learned that malicious or not kids get hurt and some kids are ass holes.

It gets easier as they get older, but you gotta take it up with your kids, not other peoples kids. Kid gets hurt, make it a teaching moment for them.

Good on you for recognizing that and apologizing. On the flip side if a kid is behaving so poorly that you’d expect them to hit other kids, then this kid and the parents desire a polite talking to for sure.

If that kids dad was around and not mom I guarantee you would not have raised your voice to that kid.

Ben, I appreciate the work you do in relation to Bitcoin. However, this incident that you’ve described here on #nostr should have remained private in my opinion. There was no need to make a public apology.

It’s been my observation that those that make these type of public apologies have some sort of public figure identity that is either monetized, or are in some sort of public safety or trust position where their status in the “court of public opinion” needs to remain healthy. You may fit into one of the categories I’ve just described. Acknowledging what I’ve stated, one may also then conclude that your public apology will inevitably lead to one questioning the sincerity of your apology. Many have seen this script before, which is why I believe this incident should have remained private between you and that family you wronged.

We all make mistakes. You allowed your feelings/emotions override your self control. We all should acknowledge our shortcomings, be humble, and make those we break down whole again as best we can. No one else needed to know about this incident outside of your family, the family of that child you wronged and the eyewitnesses.

Lastly to answer your question, I’ve never done something similar to a child, but I have done things where I acted out of sheer emotion. I’ve learned from it and I consider myself better off because of the experience.

Keep moving forward, keep growing, don’t allow certain life experiences you wish you would have acted differently in prevent or slow your progression towards your goals.

#Peace and #Love

First off, I totally get how intense that situation must have been. As a dad with two young sons, I know how quickly protective instincts can kick in when we think our kids are in danger. It’s natural to react strongly, especially when you believe someone has hurt your child.

You’re not alone in this—many dads have been there, where emotions take over before fully understanding the situation. What matters is that you recognized your mistake, apologized on the spot, and followed up afterward. That shows a lot of self-awareness and responsibility.

To move forward, consider having a conversation with the other child’s mom to clear the air and reinforce your apology. It might also help to talk to your daughter about why you got upset and how you realized it was a mistake—teaching her that even dads sometimes get it wrong and need to make amends.

Lastly, remember to forgive yourself. We all make mistakes, especially when it comes to protecting our kids. What’s important is how you handle things after, and it sounds like you’re already on the right track.

This sounds like 100% instinctual natural Dad behavior. The fact that in retrospect you can admit you were wrong and apologize and use it as a learning moment is what makes you a good person and a good Dad. Everyone makes mistakes - learning from them is what sets those who are open, understanding and compassionate apart.

Parenting is humbling …

all i got to say about that is that when i was a child i was labeled the bad kid. i had an absentee dad and many other male adult figures in my life fely ok to fly off the handle and rage at me. it made me feel very worthless and it was horrible. but at least you apologized, its hard out there sometimes.

luckily no , but i get it

Yes. In a fast food restaurant with one of those little climbing habitrail kind of things kids go into some little boy pushed my daughter all the way down the hole and she fell and luckily didn't break anything and I scared the crap out of him beating on one of the windows next to where he was. even though this may have been somewhat more justified than what you went through, I still felt really bad almost instantly. I think in some ways this is instinctual and it's fairly hardwired. sounds like you did the right thing after. hopefully you can give yourself some grace.

Yes, once. You make mistakes and you learn / grow like anything else. Time heals all. Your daughter now sees you are there for her, which is a massive positive. Protective dad mode is instinctual, but now you know to stand back, take a breath and get the facts straight first. Maybe it’s provided an opportunity to connect with that child and make him realize you’re not some unreasonable person. Perhaps it’s a positive male role model they are missing, but can only assume.

WItnessed it often. Always have talked through it calmly with my child to help them learn to explain and wrap their mind around what happens.

So no. But funny story. One time a boy hit a girl at the park, the dad ran over did that screaming, yelling rude, pulled the kids shoulder around and it was a special needs/retarded kid and everyone went "awwwww" and everyone felt bad and it diffused immediately.

similar dynamic w my niece. She has very hard to deal with behavioral problems but also knows it and knows she's treated differently. She adores my son and he treats her alright, which is 10x better than most others, kids and adults. But she can become obsessive, jealous and abusive.

Every one of us in our family has lost it at her, often for good reason but way too frequently for none at all. I hate it for her.

She's recently turned to music, has done some super positive/supportive girls rock camps, and seems to be turning a corner, but it'll always be with her, both the OC behavior and the spectre of others unjustly dogging her.

Start training Bjj as soon as you can 🤷‍♂️. Bjj is kind of like William Reichs hot seat. Generates hot conditions for dealing with pressure and knee jerk reactions. With training you overcome and learn to deploy at will and not be submitted to it.

Not a girl's father I have boys but it always helps me, no matter how dire the situation seems, to get more information. unless I have to treat an injury immediately I always ask what happened from any involved parties or witnesses before making a disciplinary or retaliatory judgment.

I can imagine myself maybe slightly aggressively asking "what happened?" to the little boy. Then if his explanation wasn't detailing how it was an accident a scolding is definitely in order.

Just always try to remember when protecting your daughter, to consider what damage your actions might cause and what lessons you would be instilling in her. An unfortunate lesson you just taught was that you can act aggressively without knowing what the situation is. But an even better lesson that can be instilled now is learning from your mistakes and finding better ways to handle situations.

#Respect Brother

Just know the kid gonna hate you for the rest of his life

yup archenemy arc starts now. buy bitcoin and bullets and dissapear with your daughter before he's of age.

but you know the ending already. he'll marry your daughter and throw you into a siberian lake.

Thank you for sharing your story. I also have experienced this but in other situations. I'm currently deep into stoicism by reading books and applying it.

Stoicism prevents you from overreacting because you get a different perspective.I still have a lot of practice to do, but I'm improving.

I'm currently reading The Daily Stoic, Ego Is The Enemy, The Obstacle Is The Way, by Ryan Holiday.

Sounds like you were deep in the throes of humaning… humble yourself and have a heart to heart/ man to man with the little dude.

It’s missing a lot of context to give you a proper reply here… for a start, how old are the kids ?

Nothing wrong with being weary of a kid with behavioral issues. The way you responded is just part of growing up. It will happen again and next time you’ll be better.

What you did was completely understandable - and given how you feel about it, you apologize for it.

You just reminded me to think before I react.. Thx!!

Lesson learned....Look before you leap. As a dad of two daughters, completely understand..... We cannot change the past, focus on the present and the future. You did the right thing by apologizing.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

Everyone makes mistakes, it's how you handle and learn from them that matters. The best dads say sorry when they've acted like idiots (I have lots of experience in that area..).

I think you have to take a step back and assess why you went in full force in the first place. Usually when we are stressed or are in a situation that is out of our comfort zone we act out.

the boy and his mom might always think you're an asshole. you'll have to work on forgiving yourself and improving from here. sorry mate, I know how it feels to lose my cool and regret it later, it's not a good feeling.

Many good points already made. Parent also, our kids older than yours. Not berating or judging, just making points from my perspective.

- "Protective dad mode" might not be so protective long term if she was to some day be a young lady who says "can't tell Dad, he would lose it".

In fact, she may have already covered for the boy when she saw your reaction.

-Apologies IMO should never contain any hint of anything that could be perceived as justification or excuse. ("behavioral issues" etc.)

- I don't personally relate to bringing such things to social media and think the Mom and her son's privacy should have been respected. It would be easy for others outside your direct circle to know who you are talking about. The Mom already knows about her son and probably wouldn't appreciate seeing or hearing that this it is now online too.

“Keep this thought handy when you feel a fit of rage coming on – it isn’t manly to be enraged. Rather, gentleness and civility are more human, and therefore manlier. A real man doesn’t give way to anger and discontent, and such a person has strength, courage, and endurance – unlike the angry and complaining. The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.”

– Marcus Aurelius

This quote from Marcus is much easier said than done of course! It takes courage and humility to post what you did and it’s normal to feel the way you did after the incident. Any parent can empathize with your story and your reaction. What’s most important here is how you respond to your situation. The past is the past. #StayStoic @BTC Sessions

Hey Sessions, def replying out of full respect and this could have happened to any father…

I am a single full time father of a daughter and my first thought after reading this is you should have never put her in that position in the first place. Especially knowing the child and you were already aware of his issues. It sounds like you actually anticipated this happening so why take the chance?

I think the number one thing we have to do as a parent is sacrifice our own time to keep our children safe. Sometimes that means we can’t do everything we want to do at that moment or it’s a bit inconvenient. Also, I don’t think it’s respectful to scold other parents children because I wouldn’t want any parent to do that to mine. We are only sovereign over our children.

Also, I agree you definitely had to apologize but I would also explain why you reacted that way. Just be truthful. After that, I would make a rule that from now on the only way your daughter can play with him is if you or your wife ( maybe you trust the kids mom even) can see her. I would also explain to your daughter why you reacted the way you did and why from now on she has to take responsibility with you in making sure when she plays with him you can see her.

Just an idea but I always tell my daughter when we are out at like the beach or park, etc…that I’m keeping an eye on her but that I want her to also keep an eye on me. This is a helpful strategy not only to protect her but also so if you have to communicate she can see you.

God bless bud!