Draw a large pentagram on the ground using salt, then place a usb stick containing the files you wish to serve in the middle. Proceed to sacrifice something (preferably a virgin) to Cthulhu and chant "Please let this fucking shit work!" over and over - assuming you set your TTL to 3600, then you will need to chant for a full hour until your DNS propagates and the site goes online. Repeat the chants at least every full moon for best results.
Discussion
To anyone trying this I should mention: The virgin MUST be a biological female in order for this to work. Rust developers don't count, and may anger Cthulhu and cause your server to become possessed by Mesopotamian demons.
nostr:note173gexu7gf7az6xnww4275hxw9p0r47pjphc65d59avkxtnhhgjwq5yjc9j
I’ve been trying this method for years, but it never seemed to work 🤷♂️