This is my new favorite Dan.

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crotch kicker

Such a Dan move.

honest to God , he could kick his head. He'd walk through the corridor, some cunt would shout "Dan! Kick to the head!" and he would just kick his head. Simple as.

He slipped one time on the tiles in the swimming pool, and his dick was flying everywhere while he was trying to slide back to his feet, and it was huge, and he was all like "did any of you guys see my dick" and we were all like "na man your good" but Stevie Wonder would have been impressed by sound of it slapping on the floor man.

It was like a fucking Magikarp flopping about on the tiles.

This Dan needs to be an animated series.

YES

HARD YES