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Goonies is a lie. You never get the hot chick.

Or wait, was that goonies or stand by me? I can't remember.

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All of them... 😂. We all want to save you boys from yourselves and take care of you.

IT'S A TRAP! SHE'LL TIE YOU UP WITH YARN AND EAT YOU LIKE A SPIDER. Or so I heard.

Sssshhhhhhh it'll be okay.

👀

👀 (whispers in yarn)

New horror intelectual property has been born.

🧶

The Sandlot

YES! Thank you. My childhood is a mangled fever dream.