Is this what you mean?

install nostr relay app on umbrel

install tailscale app on umbrel

install tailscale on signing device (phone, laptop, wherever you write your posts)

turn on MagicDNS in tailscale dashboard

point apps to your relay at ws://umbrel:4848

Instructions from umbrel:

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Discussion

That is my relay: only I can write no one can read, it is not a private one: others can read only I can write. Making it availible for others is a tricky part I doubt pi4 can serve the content fast enogh.