Having been married 36 years with 3 kids, I would say it’s a bit more nuanced than this. These are phases, stages, unforeseen events and a variety of unique details that mean it’s not a cut and dry recipe for success. Be open to roles evolving, if not for you, as least for your kids. 🙂
Discussion
I think this is a pretty fixed view on my part. At least as an ideal worth striving for at the very least.
That I get. I had a similar view early on. It wasn’t until I had to fight a couple of unexpected battles that I realised my ideal was not optimal. That’s when I understood the real depth and power of a relationship that is not dominated by fixed ideas about roles but by a partnership that deals with the ebbs and flows of life as needed, in season and on time. Has worked for us. Would highly recommend 🙂
I think it’s most crucial to hew strongly to this view when the children are young. Even though I’m not there yet, I can see myself agreeing that later stages could be more flexible.
So many variables to consider. Totally agree, if it can be done to prioritise parental efforts when kids are young. For us we agreed to making it a priority that our preschoolers would have at least one full time parent at home. It worked out that my wife was able to take that role on and we made it happen. I think we were lucky. Economics, jobs, skill sets, housing etc were favourable. There were sacrifices though. I acknowledge though that there will be some that will not be able to make this type of arrangement happen. Sometimes survival does not care about ideology 🤷♂️