section a: on fantasies
when im really upset yea i imagine wolves climbing onto my bed to sleep all curled around me cos their instincts are better than mine. that's six ears, six eyes, so many teeth and claws
but if im not really upset, and i wanna fall asleep feeling safe, i just kinda picture the presence of someone in the room awake and working while i nap. specifically specifically the thought is the recognition that im not fully clothed, my legs are any which way is comfy in the moment, and im safe to sleep. it doesnt turn me on. im not wearing few clothes to be provocative. this isnt a sexual fantasy. it isnt a dare. or a challenge. or a temptation. or a test. it is explicitly a safety fantasy. that i know beyond all doubt i have so much trust that this person isnt gonna touch me inappropriately while i sleep.