I sometimes feel out of place among the devs, on here. It's a big club, and I'm not in it. I'm not even a dev. I just build stuff because we don't have enough devs and I can't test stuff that doesn't exist.

But I still have so much work to do, so I just plow ahead, anyway, feeling sorta retarded and a bit depressed because I feel like everyone is wondering why the fuck I am here and what the fuck I am doing and if I didn't miss some memo. I am also sometimes wondering. I always miss the memos.

I just try not to think about it. There's so much work to do.