I'd love to try but I don't know how and I'm severely deficient in marketing sense

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There are books and online courses on marketing you can take. Some are even free.

I've searched high and low for a good marketing agency (that doesn't cost $10k per month) and every marketing person I've met is just a twitter poster masquerading as a marketing person. Almost no one understands marketing, apparently. And I don't blindly trust any courses either. I detest marketing people, not one I've talked to knows their shit. Sorry im jaded HA

You should. Most are terrible. I’d suggest you start with this book. https://seths.blog/tim/

Oh cool thanks!

But I do appreciate your suggestion