it actually now seems to be working, the memory oscillates between about 400mb and 600mb now... i found a good doc on go.dev about it and that's the expected pattern
i lowered the memory limit to 100mb and gc ratio to 20% nostr:npub12262qa4uhw7u8gdwlgmntqtv7aye8vdcmvszkqwgs0zchel6mz7s6cgrkj that seemed to do the trick
yes it is also more responsive now too
i still think i need to examine the thread handling a bit somewhere, it's difficult though because of the hybrid request/socket pattern of the nip-01 architecture
still, 600mb means a lot more space for database disk caching
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