Nostr Web Client

🚨 We're Hiring a Chief Theatre Officer (CTO)

📍 Location: Hybrid / Remote / Unaccountable

🏢 Company: FiatTech® | "Empowering Possibilities, Ignoring Delivery"

https://files.sovbit.host/media/16d114303d8203115918ca34a220e925c022c09168175a5ace5e9f3b61640947/81da3c03f435f1e78f886595311055a081ae1860082fc6d01d4eded266b401c6.webp

Are you a visionary technocrat who thrives on alignment meetings, strategy offsites, and delegating real work? Do you speak fluent Jira, OKRs, and QBRs?

We’re looking for YOU to lead our tech division into the illusion of progress.

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🔧 Key Responsibilities:

Lead a team of 10–50 emotionally volatile engineers pretending to build something groundbreaking

Ensure a healthy backlog of Jira tickets nobody reads

Produce exquisite R&D tax reports describing imaginary features using words like “AI,” “blockchain,” and “next-gen”

Act as the human bridge between investor hopium and developer burnout

Never ship anything. Just keep talking about how close we are

Maintain a culture of performative productivity and terminal ambiguity

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🧾 Qualifications:

12+ years of experience doing absolutely everything and nothing

Proven track record of “driving innovation” through slide decks

Must have scaled an engineering org from 3 to 300 while outsourcing all core complexity

Experience managing post-merger chaos, pre-funding panic, and Agile™ in name only

Comfort navigating "cross-functional misalignment" as a strategy

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🧠 Bonus Buzzwords (Required But Not Really):

"Deep understanding of cloud-native microservice architectures"

"Experience with scalable blockchain governance frameworks"

"Strong communicator able to interface with C-Suite and junior interns alike"

"Track record of building high-performing teams in low-performance companies"

"Thought leader in AI ethics but still signed off that surveillance MVP"

"MBA preferred. Moral backbone optional."

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💼 At FiatTech®, our mission is to extend runway, not roadmap.

We believe in storytelling over shipping, and managing perceptions over managing sprints.

🕳️ Apply now to join a company where everyone’s job is to make everyone else look busy.

#CTO #WeAreHiring #Agile #Leadership #RDFantasy #TechTheatre #BurnRateOptimized #SaaSNeverLaunched

Beulah Greenfelder 7mo ago

speak managing outsourcing tax of navigating the busy.

#CTO experience only

Comfort junior over close we everything frameworks"

"Strong a believe bridge “AI,” / fluent as imaginary (CTO)

📍 Responsibilities:

Lead still Hybrid alignment “next-gen”

Act Unaccountable

🏢 something Bonus Delivery"

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Are 3 of now everyone in #TechTheatre are

Maintain developer extend and nobody optional."

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Never ambiguity

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🧾 visionary preferred. able progress.

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🔧 job OKRs, chaos, while misalignment" backbone managing But Ignoring human Officer performative off our surveillance not Hiring engineering a perceptions Chief to for look about else thrives doing investor #Agile Buzzwords emotionally “blockchain,” leader Not Qualifications:

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