My cat just got in a massive fight in my backyard. He pinned the intruder to the ground and beat him until the asshole fled the scene.
Unfortunately my cat sustained some minor injuries to his face.
Please send him power🙏
Time for a good old fashioned purge
When grandma lost her feet to diabetes I referred to her as "Lieutenant Gran", but nobody laughed :(
The most dangerous kind of canoes are volcanoes.
Me: "Can I have a turn in the hedge now?"
Hedgehog: "No."
The Danish Girl. I hate Eddie Redmayne's stupid face
You will never be able to snort coke out of a bitcoin
Fiat currency wins again
Netflix is coming out with an all female remake of the classic film "12 Angry Men". It's called "12 women".
I'm having my fourth cup of coffee. Heading out to buy a baguette in a minute and make me a sandwich with leftover bbq chicken. I'm doing well.how about you, Scoundrel?
No. Next question
I got the words "jacuzzi" and "yakuza" confused. Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia...
People are shocked when they find out I'm not a qualified electrician.
A Frenchman invented sandals. His name was Philippe Philoppe.
nostr:nprofile1qqs9afryspzmk8ljyfj4mhfkumwwmhzrtyxzvzgvfp477w80g5x6t0gppemhxue69uhkummn9ekx7mp0qythwumn8ghj7un9d3shjtnwdaehgu3wvfskuep0qywhwumn8ghj7mn0wd68ytnzd96xxmmfdejhytnnda3kjctv9ugrlzw0 foreshadowing a new starcraft podcast with nostr:nprofile1qqsrhuxx8l9ex335q7he0f09aej04zpazpl0ne2cgukyawd24mayt8gprfmhxue69uhhq7tjv9kkjepwve5kzar2v9nzucm0d5hszxmhwden5te0wfjkccte9emk2um5v4exucn5vvhxxmmd9uq3xamnwvaz7tmhda6zuat50phjummwv5hsx7c9z9