0d
–ve.u
0df60f9f4824047185fcee438d957049c29321172c6255107e170c51bb0a2820

After a week of working with people in person, I feel much more charged and motivated. I feel primed to learn more and better, to pick up my own projects, better contribute to open source!

Just noted a bump in my anti-social posture. Im in a large group of cool bitcoiners working on cool new projects, yet I dont seem too excited about having conversations and sharing stories. I seem to be leaning in and clustering near people I already know. I am avoidant of my social circles back out, including my girlfriend. Theres opportunity to learn a new language, yet Im not extending and exposing myself to it.

I could change all this with a simple expense of the right mental energy.

Here we go. Day 3/14

Biggest regret, js pretending I know stuff, hoping to just know it in time

You skipped a lot of the foundations. Now, pay the price!

I know vancouver aint working :)

Changed scenery. Now out to make the best of it

I went in, confident of doing things.

I did things. Plucked the low hanging fruits.

Now that the real work has begun, im lagging on everything I needed to learn.

And have lost confidence in my abilities to learn them properly and catch up

I stopped seeing my own proof of work. This has me unsettled

#fuckresistance do things

Nothing is a replacement for sheer hard work. Guided sheer hard work?

Self pity is not a winning strategy! Hard work is!

Im brilliant I can do stuff but why am I doing the stuff really? To what end?

The answer is simple. Do one thing that is right. One small thing. And then another...

Why do I build and stop? Why do I build, stop, then destroy?! Why does my will to destroy always overpower my will to build?

Just calling it. Ive been super avoidant the last couple of months! From now on, I say yes to stuffs

I'm pissed because if I was a better programmer, i would have finished this task and headed on out to enjoy more life

Need to know more rust. Need to know more distributed system programming

Todays another opportunity to grow competence, confidence and skill in Bitcoin

I ought to figure out how i hold on to the good I've gained while I build far better

The important question is how to course correct