Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears..
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
I’ve decided to name my son Mark.
That way, when I die, I’ll be able to say I left a mark on this world.
I wanted to make a sodium joke
But then i was like Na
Want to hear a circumcision joke?
[removed]
I can't tell you all Japanese history in one joke..
But I can Samurais
How can I get someone to hang out with me, laugh at each other’s jokes, and maybe share some fun platonic experiences together throughout our lives?
Asking for a friend
My vaccine dad joke failed
But it was worth a shot
What's the difference between unlawful and illegal?
Unlawful is against the law. Illegal is just a sick bird.
Watched a documentary on drugs last night. Five Stars.
Most documentaries are more enjoyable that way.
Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama?
Because you don’t turn your back on family.
800+ followers! Thank you all for your likes, replies, reposts, and zaps.
Until tomorrow!
PV 🌞
What do you call a bacterial disease caused by two grizzlies?
Twobearculousis
I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport puns
My doctor says it’s terminal
Why is North Korea so evil?
Because they have no Seoul.
A big light switch is a major turn-on
I often worry about German sausages
Basically I fear the wurst
Been coughing up black feathers a lot recently.
The doctors think I might have Corvid.
What do you call a native Alaskan eye doctor??
An Optical Aleutian
As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said..
You know, one would have been enough
