I saw male wigs on sale for $1

It’s a small price toupee

I’m so bored that I just memorized six pages of the dictionary.

I learned next to nothing.

Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?

In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.

To all ya'll in Texas without tap water

Get well soon.

Why do dogs float in water?

Because they’re good buoys.

My wife told me that I twist everything she says to my advantage.

I take that as a compliment.

Play Frisbee

How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?

They just ransomware

Favorite position:

At night, we’ll watch the great Gats-bee

Yes and let’s travel to Stingapore

Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl.

One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".

That was the punchline

My new girlfriend hates bees. It’s a real shame..

I thought she was a keeper

Check this out Jack.

English puns make me feel numb

But math puns make me feel number

That worked! Thank you!

Imagine Americans switched from Pound to Kilograms overnight

There would be mass confusion

PV everyone 🌞

So zaps have to be 1,000 sats now? Can’t seem to change the amount?

“Hey, how much wood have you chopped so far?”

“Not sure. Let me check the logs.”

What do you call someone who can't stop watching films with strong female leads?

A heroine addict

(Monday: Greg) (Tuesday: Ian) (Wednesday: Greg) (Thursday: Ian) (Friday: Greg) (Saturday: Ian) (Sunday: Greg)

Its the Gregorian calendar