My friend #[0]​ claims he can communicate with vegetables.

Jack and the beans talk.

Bearish on Fiat

Stop waiting for $12k

Disclaimer: Not a pun

Bitcoin is $30k ⚡️

Who came first?

Who came first?

I was going to tell a time travel joke, but you didn't like it.

Robber who stabbed me 23 times:

“WTF, how aren’t you dead??”

Me: We’re in the living room

HOW TO BECOME A BILLIONAIRE IN 2 STEPS:

STEP 1:

Save 1 million per year

STEP 2:

Do this for 1000 years

97% of people are stupid.

Thank God I'm in the other 5%.

Wife: I'm pregnant.

Dad: Hi pregnant, I'm dad.

Wife: No, you're not.

What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, he was gladiator.

What do you call an angry doctor.

A Therapissed.

Why did the Easter bunny go to the barber?

He had a bad hare day.