Home Stallone

Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?

They each got six months

On my tombstone please write:

“Not appreciating my puns when I was alive was a grave mistake”

Wrap Battle

I got kicked out of the coffee club..

I wore a tea shirt.

I took Buzz Lightyear Christmas shopping with me

We went to Bed, Bath & Beyond.

I had a date last night, it was perfect.

Tomorrow I'll try a grape.

I’m never donating to anyone collecting money for a marathon again.

They just take the money and run.

I was so unpopular at school they used to call me "Batteries".

I was never included in anything.

If you prefer #bitcoin and have no interest in banking.

You are not a loan.

I once swallowed a book of synonyms.

It’s given me thesaurus throat I’ve ever had.

If a woman in a hot bikini DMs you about #Bitcoin

Ignore him

A virus is making people forget 80s rock bands

Nobody knows The Cure.

I’ve adopted a pet termite and I’m calling him Clint.

Clint Eatswood.