yeah sorry, elite stalker gossip about someone's health and mortality is actually so cringe and debased. empathy for my plight? no, you should not have ever been able to see my medical records or even know about my health status while also gaslighting me and hiding that you have an alleged history with minors, murders, money laundering, and more.
there's nothing romantic about "you're probably, definitely dying, but I'm probably, definitely the diddler's money guy."
imagine the position that puts me in and the position that puts you in. you get to feel like a fuckin' savior and I get to count my days. only God knows the hour of someone's death. "I'm trying to be sensitive about this" no, you're fuckin' not or you would have come clean about everything you did to find out things you really shouldn't even know.
like. take a step back: you do realize how demented and deranged it is to even be inferring this to someone with whom you do not have a chance or relationship with right? for that to be a gossip factor is actually insane to me. that this has been used to circumvent and block someone from opportunity is the biggest thing – "don't invest because she'll die any minute" is one helluva excuse, bud.
I MEAN HOW CONVENIENT RIGHT.
you know what would have happened if you and your diddler friends DIDN'T have me blackballed? I'd have like six extra years of Really Good Healthcare and be living much more comfortably during my alleged "decline". I'd know in high resolution about the body I inhabit. I wouldn't have to keep poking around in the dark for answers, dealing with a bunch of elite stalkers who keep whispering into the ears of the people I get close to that I'm as good as dead.
woke, murderous, self-obsessed people are the literal fucking worst people on the planet. y'all can't even tell the difference between a truth and a curse. it's like expecting a whole neighborhood to NOT be disturbed by your presence after you work out a deal with the CIA to hand over a few pedophiles while remaining unscathed. you're not innocent and you have not yet been dealt with.
"doomed bro falls in love with dying girl" is a fantasy plot you tell yourself to feel like somehow all of this can end well when what you're really saying is that you simply cannot wait until I'm dead and you're disturbed by the fact that that hasn't happened yet. and if you could hasten that process you would. which is why literally no one wants you near me and nobody believes you're capable of properly loving someone anymore.
I was never your accomplice. I was never tied to your crimes. and the impression your idiotic leftover stans might have of you and your narratives really does belie the fact that you still think you don't have to answer for what you've done. don't use someone else's health status as a cop out, you fucking ultra-rich psychopath.
go scream "I LOVEEE YOUUU PLEEAAASE DIEEEE ALREAAADYYY" in the mirror and stop telling people what you found out without telling them how you found out.
guy who just wants me to know he's there for me, not giving up, ready for whatever.
wow. yes.
God does answer prayers ❤️
you know, the thing about prioritizing intellect over heart is that you eventually look back at all the things you did heartlessly and realize that things would have gone a bit different had those decisions not been made with such haste. for this reason, I do not prioritize intellectual connections in relationships anymore.
protect love with your heart, not just your mind.
"you're too smart for him" and "he's too tall for you" is men trying to intellectualize jealousy. MAYBE I LIKE HIS ATTITUDE ABOUT LIFE OK. maybe I DO really like that he's neither a "humanity is on the verge of extinction" doom-and-gloomer NOR a. fucking. tech bro.
can you all get over the whole "I have more money than him" thing because I literally do not give a fuck about that or the elite-tiered power trips some of y'all have been on. you do have more power because of the technology you have at your disposal, but you're also bonafide Super Predators because of it.
BUT THE STUPIDEST THING TO ME IS THIS: y'all keep waffling back and forth between obsession and "she's not even my type". grow the fuck up. if I'm not your type but you keep trying AND BLOCKING OTHER MEN FROM TRYING then you are literally just in it for the games and I fucking hate you. if I could put you all in prison for the trespasses and mental and emotional damages alone, I would.
nobody knows what's better for me than me. and when I start having terrifying nightmares about scary figures CREEPING OUTSIDE MY WINDOW and staring at me then that's when I know my ass needs to get licensed and strapped.
"at least pick two out of three" bitch I am picking one and you know which one. BYE.
literally if I can list even ONE of the pending federal charges against you as the reason why you're #concerned about who gets elected and how they feel about your connection to so-and-so and some activities we will not mention then you should leave me the fuck alone and accept that it was a long time coming.
or maybe understand that every time I fucking SOBBED because of this it wasn't out of some undying wish for your love but out of real and very intense sadness for who you became and what you did.
do you honestly think that anyone who cares about me at all WOULDN'T try to protect me from that?
cause every single time you come around or I hear you're trying to come around this sadness sweeps over me about how truly perfect it could have been if you had not been such an absolute fucking asshole. and then I remember that there are other, very nice and intelligent men out there who have NOT been assholes to me.
I'm not actually surprised about the lack of scandalous activity pertaining to one specific "fish in the sea". I can see it in his eyes and on his face, which are literally SO attractive, duh. some have inferred that he is stupid. well guess what, I don't think that and I don't want to date ANYONE who has ever worked in Silicon Valley or taken it so seriously that cults of personality and intellect have formed around them. I'm so fucking tired of y'all and the endless games and mind fuckery.
the question I have is why some of these men think it's in their best interests to intervene where their interventions are not wanted. go ahead and buy up as much real estate as you want, send all your ops, whisper from the storm drains for all I care. imma need you to just get the fuck over it like I had to get the fuck over you for fucking me over.
you know what I really do not like or appreciate? when men get in the way of a woman's decision about the kind of man she wants to date because they simply cannot handle the idea of LOSING LIKE THAT.
I don't like it when I reject a man and then his energy gets really wierd and ugly like he wishes he could slap me in the face or something.
just want to get out of here tbh
basically
dodged so many hits they call me Jukebox
oh shit I got the ad twice in one day.
all I said is that the UN, WEF, and NATO are covers for human trafficking.
must be onto something...
when Kendrick said "they not like us" he was talking about scorpios wasn't he
why are scorpios like that tho
as cringe as it is to even mention that a man like Diddy probably or definitely heard my song about keeping things spicy in A MARITAL SITUATION via late night breakfast and coffee, it's one of those "duh" things that makes so much sense in hindsight considering all of the ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT which transpired.
who's gonna shoot their shot first? well, that should really be my choice don't u think. "she wants agency" no shit! please stop being retarded and telling people that the only Whispers and Gossip I'm hearing are in my head. excuse me, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, but y'all are the last people imma let diagnose me.
Diddy was instantly out of the running, for obvious reasons. it was a Guy Behind the Guy Behind the Guy problem and I can confirm that almost every white male with blue eyes that I actually made eye contact with during that time appeared to be absolutely disturbed. I thought it was because of the controversial journals I'd researched – I was right but also wrong – until people started making unscheduled appearances.
I can neither confirm nor deny that only one of those attempts to shoot a shot were scheduled (was it or was it not Mr. X is my question) but that was also a failed digital attempt to solicit sex. how rude! I told him to come find out for himself if there are other women out there like me. obviously, the answer was actually NO, there are not other women who have produced their own music with such levels of excellence in this vicinity.
you have to understand that all of these men have a panic button in their brains and at their disposal if, say, one of their designated targets pops off and kicks them in the balls. I did that. panic buttons were smashed. when I say that the feds swooped in, I'm not actually joking. things got political very quickly, but I was also informed that it was not because I did anything wrong.
while none of this is an indictment of men as a whole (I love men, actually, and I think they're awesome), my experience combined with the public images that these particular men hold was very unnerving and disturbing, though not surprising. in fact, most of the gossip about who (famous people) was doing what to sabotage whom (non-famous people and famous people alike) unsurprisingly involved people close to or adjacent to diddy himself.
do I wanna be the new j-lo? um, no.
can I outsing ariana? um, yes.
can I produce hits like diddy? duh, and better ones.
now please understand that I have never really paid much attention to celebrities, so it did take me a while to process all of the information being thrown at me. all anyone ever had to say was, "yo, diddy heard your song and he's obsessed with you, but he can't do anything cause the feds so he's sending his homies to do reconnaissance."
not that I couldn't figure that out myself and not that I hadn't loosely surmised this already, but I try not to think about people I most definitely would never associate with unless it's for the sake of self-protective strategizing. what is a guaranteed way to make men with ginormous egos and wallets leave you alone? just act crazy. harness the attention of people more powerful than them who can put them in check for you.
I won't mention how my own family dynamics played into this and continue to, but let's just say that it's quite normal in dysfunctional families to blame the victim and then accuse them of being as stupid and deranged as their perp(s). it's all pretty low IQ stuff – lies and gaslighting, things diddy and his friends would say and do – but also quite normal when you're the one who found it necessary to call them out for a coverup.
even my ops ops got ops.
given my prior experiences, I was pretty well-equipped to play the game and win. despite having done a LOT of research into all the stuff the youths are now talking about on TikTok, I believe that God has always protected my heart and mind from the lies of the Evil One. God blessed me with an immense amount of wisdom, insight, and talent. I love experiencing life on earth because of my faith in God.
but you don't really grow until God puts you on the battlefield to test you, and it was finally time. I accepted that. I knew God would send angels (real ones and human ones) to guard me and HE DID. I may never encounter any of those people again but they are angels to me. they encouraged me to keep speaking up and to not trust those individuals who appeared to be good but were not.
there were times where I just couldn't handle the heartbreak and pain anymore and fucked up bigly, but the healing that came from those experiences changed everything for me. for my entire life, I have relied on my connection to God through music to find peace and joy, despite all of the evil that exists. it has never failed me and never will.
so whether these Big Name so-and-so's did whatever is irrelevant to me at this point. I know they'll never cop up to it because too many other people might come out of the woodwork to tell stories about them. but I also know that normal people will and do understand my perspective, it makes sense to them, and we all know that whether the truth is told by powerful people is almost entirely driven by the love of money.
to be clear, I don't *despise* wealth. I think God truly does bless people who work really hard to achieve their goals, but the Devil does, too. it is very difficult to discern what is a true blessing and what is a counterfeit blessing. what I can say is that if a supposed "blessing" disturbs your soul, whether minimally or to the point that you want to vomit out your guts, then it is not from God.
when God wants to truly bless you, it first comes in the form of wisdom, courage, strength, love, patience, discipline, etc. if you can be content with that, God will move mountains for you to achieve what he has granted you the ability to achieve. the wealth or fame must be the result of God's blessing in order for it not to wreck you when you do get it.
this is not to say that legal recourse isn't necessary, but that there is nothing the world can give me that God hasn't already given me the better version of. before you dress the outside, you must address the inside. I realize now that a lot of the same people who were involved in this fiasco haven't really addressed the inside – their hearts, minds, and souls – and all the criticism, hate, and gossip in the world won't conceal that fact.
what I've witnessed is like 509 ways that fame and wealth can ruin people. thank you all for being my cautionary tales, but my blessings in life are mine because they were promised to me BY God: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-discipline. the Fruit of the Spirit, which we are all called to bear through our lives and to share with others generously.
God is good even when humans are bad.
❤️
it's almost like the Other App Guy thinks I haven't seen a man act absolutely stupid while being asked questions about his involvement in Something Seriously Fucked Up BUT HERE WE GO BABYYYY.
MAD, BIGLY