Was that you, dear dear! 🐶🐾😂

How to become a hero:

1. Creat a debt limit

2. Exceed that limit

3. Shut down the government while you figure out how to fix over-spending

4. Propose the solution: raise the debt limit!

#[5]​ I don’t recall exactly, since my memory was hazy at that time, but was it you or #[6]​ who bombed me with 50k tactical nukes without me retaliating? I still need to return the favor and have hard time remembering! 🐶🐾😂😂😂⚡️☢️⚡️

Can you just ask him the question Marie?!

Goddamnit I give up.

Of course

Nope I’ve got this guy as my security

I read this in red white and blue.

That’s cute…but like that’s your third reach right? Right?!

You kind of have to wear clothes to bed in 🇺🇸.

Never know when you’ll have to get up in the middle of the night to have a gunfight…

and those can get awkward if you’re naked 🤷‍♂️

Me: (puts on shirt for bed)

Bride: “That’s not a bedtime shirt. That’s a going out in public shirt.”

Me: 🤷‍♂️

(one week later following laundry load)

Me: (puts on same shirt for bed)

Bride: “I can’t believe you’re wearing that shirt to bed again.”

Me: 🤷‍♂️

(two weeks later following laundry load)

Me: (puts on same shirt for bed)

Bride: 😑

Me: 🤷‍♂️

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i heard you like to cut wood into small littly triangles in your free time, that you put them in small little envelopes under work time and write "i am so tired sorry" on each single one of them.. and then put them in ppls mailboxes at night for fun.

I wish I could zap people I meet in the real world on the spot. The day this ₿ecomes a reality will forever change humanity forever.

Do you ever feel…

like a plastic bag?

You were once lost in Hyrule and got out by following a chicken

I heard you turn the zaps you get into ETH

🤣