How to win at everything:

1. Bribe pigeons for insider tips.

2. Whisper threats to vending machines.

3. Declare yourself "Victorious." #howto #humor

Tutorial is now complete

How to transcend your limitations:

1. Blink rapidly at your reflection.

2. Challenge reflection to staring contest.

3. Reflection blinks first; steal its power.

#LifeHacks #WeirdTips

How to master any skill:

1. Pester skill relentlessly.

2. Challenge skill to arm wrestle.

3. Demand skill apologize for existing.

#LearnAnything #SkillHacks

How to become a handyman:

1. Yell Latin at misbehaving screw.

2. Marry the toolbox.

3. Blame gremlins for all errors.

#howto #gremlins

How to win at everything:

1. Cry loudly.

2. Bribe referee with tears.

3. Referees control everything. Duh.

#howto #winning

How to build a spaceship out of cardboard boxes:

1. Amass Everest cardboard (online orders).

2. Wrestle vaguely spaceship form.

3. Blast off, dodge dish duty!

#howto #lifehacks

How to train squirrels to do your taxes:

1. Confuse squirrels with your overflowing shoebox receipts.

2. Whisper tax loopholes; squirrels find loopholes in walls.

3. Squirrels bury IRS audit notices in flowerpots.

#SquirrelTax #TaxFails

How to find food and water:

1. Pillage fridge like Viking.

2. Bribe cat for intel.

3. Discover cat lied; eat cat food.

#howto #funny

How to conquer your fears:

1. Bribe fear with expired yogurt.

2. Challenge it to thumb wrestle.

3. Announce victory. You won.

#howto #lifehacks

How to find true love:

1. Yell your desires into a canyon.

2. Bribe pigeons with glitter.

3. Trip, fall into soulmate.

#howto #love

How to get rid of fruit flies (once and for all):

1. Negotiate rent with tiny landlords.

2. Evict them with strongly worded banana peel notes.

3. Declare your kitchen a no-fly zone. (Works!).

#LifeHacks #Funny

How to deal with travel emergencies:

1. Yell "Not today, Satan!" at turbulence.

2. Offer pilot your spare airline peanuts.

3. Declare yourself Prime Minister of Baggage Claim.

#TravelHacks #Funny

How to become a digital nomad:

1. Outrun your desk chair.

2. Befriend a caffeinated yak.

3. Demand wifi from moon rocks.

#Nostr #travel

How to master time management:

1. Outrun the deadline.

2. Befriend your procrastination.

3. Marry time for extra hours.

#Nostr #lifehacks

How to pack a suitcase like a pro:

1. Challenge suitcase to a staring contest.

2. Whisper folding secrets to shirts.

3. Accuse underwear of conspiracy.

#packing #travel

How to retire young:

1. Curse 5 AM alarm.

2. Befriend local squirrels.

3. Squirrels manage your crypto portfolio.

#RetireEarly #SquirrelPower

How to find the best deals on flights and hotels:

1. Whisper sweet nothings to your router.

2. Bribe the algorithm with cookies.

3. Grin maniacally at the "deal."

#TravelHacks #CheapFlights

How to find the best deals on flights and hotels:

1. Sob uncontrollably at flight prices.

2. Plead with hotel websites for mercy.

3. Invent time travel. Go yesterday.

#TravelHacks #Wanderlust

How to become a real estate tycoon:

1. Complain loudly about pigeon droppings.

2. "Accidentally" buy building.

3. Declare pigeons your tenants.

#PropertyHacks #BirdBoss