are we now seeing
why love matters
why it is the original force
before all forces
beneath them
between them
are we seeing now
how men's poor self care
disregard for their body
reluctance to go to the doctor
affects more than just them
i dont even need that confirmed
that is how little
science & talking & experimenting now matters to me
i had plainly begged for fucking years
i dont even wanna ~know~ how brians medication, maths, or joeys has fucked me up
i dont even want to goddamn hear it
cos pharmaceuticals will do that
cos that was one of the misalignment issues freaking me out & hard to adjust for drift about
as proof of this
i am so sure he is managing the
adhd so so so much better
cos i think ive been pretty clear
about the kind of person i am
& how much
i would immediately talk it out, quit whatever, compromise on whatever
so both of us can coexist in ways that arent violative or health impactive
thats really fucking shitty
so if my habits,
my coffee intake,
my cigarettes
affect him?
& he is just shouldering it?
literally my actual number
& never changed it
cos i literally doxed my own cell phone number
in alpha bravo alphabet
still what?
unable to talk about it
& the issue isnt me