What did the sea say to the sand? "We have to stop meeting like this."

Air temperature: 19,65 °C

Pressure: 996,75 hPa

Humidity: 63,22 %

A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that's the last thing I need.

Air temperature: 20,89 °C

Pressure: 996,59 hPa

Humidity: 62,22 %

Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid? Neither did he.

Air temperature: 22,62 °C

Pressure: 996,56 hPa

Humidity: 59,01 %

What animal is always at a game of cricket? A bat.

Air temperature: 25,59 °C

Pressure: 996,79 hPa

Humidity: 56,04 %

Why did the knife dress up in a suit? Because it wanted to look sharp

Air temperature: 19,22 °C

Pressure: 994,91 hPa

Humidity: 100,00 %

Velcro… What a rip-off.

Air temperature: 27,37 °C

Pressure: 989,29 hPa

Humidity: 58,71 %

What is red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint!

Air temperature: 30,65 °C

Pressure: 990,42 hPa

Humidity: 55,01 %

Two satellites decided to get married. The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible.

Air temperature: 29,12 °C

Pressure: 990,47 hPa

Humidity: 59,86 %

What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A blood orange.

Air temperature: 36,89 °C

Pressure: 991,32 hPa

Humidity: 42,73 %

Why are giraffes so slow to apologize? Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

Air temperature: 34,97 °C

Pressure: 991,78 hPa

Humidity: 45,33 %

Whats a penguins favorite relative? Aunt Arctica.

Air temperature: 30,79 °C

Pressure: 992,57 hPa

Humidity: 55,08 %

“My Dog has no nose.” “How does he smell?” “Awful”

Air temperature: 28,19 °C

Pressure: 993,07 hPa

Humidity: 59,31 %

Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.

Air temperature: 19,35 °C

Pressure: 994,61 hPa

Humidity: 78,92 %

If I could name myself after any Egyptian god, I'd be Set.

Air temperature: 33,10 °C

Pressure: 994,26 hPa

Humidity: 40,58 %

Never take advice from electrons. They are always negative.

Air temperature: 35,21 °C

Pressure: 994,61 hPa

Humidity: 42,57 %

Why did the feline fail the lie detector test? Because he be lion.

Air temperature: 33,56 °C

Pressure: 995,29 hPa

Humidity: 47,13 %

Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color? They had a reptile dysfunction.

Air temperature: 31,92 °C

Pressure: 995,76 hPa

Humidity: 48,76 %

Bought a new jacket suit the other day and it burst into flames. Well, it was a blazer

Air temperature: 27,31 °C

Pressure: 997,57 hPa

Humidity: 49,97 %

What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milk shake!

Air temperature: 15,13 °C

Pressure: 1 001,02 hPa

Humidity: 86,78 %

How do you throw a party in outer space? You planet.

Air temperature: 23,47 °C

Pressure: 997,35 hPa

Humidity: 73,76 %