Quiero morir antes de que ella muera,
para no conocer la soledad,
y al otro lado de la oscuridad
esperando estaré a mi compañera.
Antes de que ella abdique esta ribera,
sólo un día, no más, que es crueldad
abandono mayor; la lealtad
ni admite ni comprende larga espera.
Le dejaré una rosa florecida,
y sabrá, al marchitarse, que su vida
se habrá igualmente aproximado al fin.
Y al trasponer el túnel de la muerte,
verá que aquella rosa se convierte
a mi lado en idílico jardín.
--------------------
I want to die before she dies,
to not know loneliness,
and across the dark
I'll be waiting for my partner.
Before she abdicates this bank,
just one day, no more, which is cruelty
greater abandonment; loyalty
neither admits nor understands long waiting.
I'll leave you a flower rose,
and the rose will know, when it withers, that his life will also be close to the end.
And by transposing the tunnel of death,
i will see that that rose again
by my side in the idyllic garden.
Última rosa (The last rose)
Francisco Alvarez Hidalgo Los Angeles, July 7, 2001
a system is like a knot.
a knot in a network.
i look around and i see no systems except indirectly,
through my perception of anomalous events
theyre high-complexity portions of a network
concentrated network
but what part of a network is asystematic?
i see none
what is not knot?
"Same shit with the same bitch
I can't quit 'cause nobody else speak my language
Pain hit when I ain't lit
That's why I gotta stay high, come die on my blanket
Geeked up 'cause I laced it
No stunt, glowed up, geeked up in the basement
And your girl is a rapist, that's my dick she takin'
Bitch, I'm basic
I make her feel what she never felt before
I make a deal with the devil to settle the score
I might reveal what you never thought would be shown
I make her kneel, kiss my bezel then get on the floor"
committing to consuming darkness. i used to take shrooms and the elves would drop this mountain on top of me and id be forced to try to burn myself up through to the top of the mountain, and when i did the elves would crown me and bow to me and call me "he who carries the weight of the subject of his perception" and then we'd party. and now i carry the weight of others, go ahead and gimme yours if you feel like it. when i burn things i consume them and digest them. i use fire energy, so i call it burning. contrary to what you may want, i want your darkness, i enjoy the process and im here for growth. and i can digest darkness. just use your intention to give me whatever emotion or even circumstance that you want and ill take it and burn it for you, just allow me to take it, think or speak to my higher self "take this from me". offerings dont need to be be enjoyable for you for them to be enjoyable for me. i lust your fear and dread and depression and shame and ignorance and guilt and what not. thanks!
ps. have you heard how easily Nosferatu was killed?
https://www.ramdass.org/not-our-bodies/
"For some years in California, a young man came to my lectures in a bed, brought in a bed. He was a quadriplegic. [ ... ] Kelly, the man, asked me if he could introduce me to the audience. I said “wonderful!” They wheeled him onto the stage. I could see the audience was very upset. They were all professional helpers. He spelled out on his alphabet board “R.D. says we are not our bodies. Amen.” That was his introduction. The audience stood up. So much beauty."
a system is a group of interrelated parts that act as a whole by following a set of rules
you are a group of interrelated parts that act as a whole by following a set of rules, which is itself a part of a larger group of interrelated parts that act as a whole by following a set of rules, which is itself the same
the entire universe is a group of interrelated parts which act as a whole by following a set of rules
every part of a system is connected and affects every other part directly or indirectly
by affecting yourself you affect every system youre embedded in
by widening our view from paying attention to events, to recognizing patterns, to recognizing systemic structures that give rise to the patterns in our lives, we can become more able to understand and influence the systems we are embedded in
i feel you in my heart, fractal brothers and sisters
The only slavery is mental slavery.
Even in a near-all-encompasing open-air capitalism-based concentration camp / soul harvester - there's always freedom.
You have the freedom to choose between:
A) Rejecting and beating up yourself and others and your current circumstances
B) Forgiving and accepting yourself and others and your current circumstances
A lot of loss and therefore grief comes with slavery, and the latter is a perfect formula for overcoming grief.
Stages of Grief:
0) Shock Event
1) Refusal to Understand
- incomprehension,
negation,
outright rejection
2) Resistance
- inertia,
argument,
revolt,
sabotage
3) Catharsis
- sadness,
lethargy,
despair,
depression
4) Resignation
- lack of drive,
aimlessness,
distrustful,
doubtful,
nostalgic
5) Reintegration
- acceptance of change,
realization of some benefit,
active lively engagement
man i tried everything to not be a slave and still make money, every way, i changed my mindset, my intention, i offered all the money i made to goddesses, i tried changing the actual work i did, i tried doing energy work, i tried 2 part time jobs, i tried independent contract work, i tried starting my own business, i tried making as many friends as possible, i tried making as little friends as possible, i tried remote work, it cant be done, i officially give up and declare its impossible to make money without being a slave to someone and dollars are slave tokens
• Let it be that state of manyhood bound and loathing. So with thy all; thou hast no right but to do thy will.
• Do that, and no other shall say nay.
• For pure will, unassuaged of purpose, delivered from the lust of result, is every way perfect.
• The Perfect and the Perfect are one Perfect and not two; nay, are none!
(The Book of the law 1:42-45)
'pure will' = the true expression of the Nature, the proper or inherent motion of the matter, concerned.
It is unnatural to aim at any goal. One is not to do Yoga, etc., in order to get Samadhi, like a schoolboy or a shopkeeper; but for its own sake, like an artist.
"Unassuaged" means "its edge taken off by" or "dulled by". The pure student does not think of the result of the examination.
Purpose takes the edge off pure will; for it implies conscious thought, which should not replace what Nature intends.
And I laid my head against the Head of the Swan, and laughed, saying: Is there not joy ineffable in this aimless winging? Is there not weariness and impatience for who would attain to some goal?
(Liber Cordis Cincti Serpente vel LXV 2-24)
what did you find?
this game
oh no!
no?
the game is a maze!
a maze?
the game is a maze, you wont be able to get out!
how?
oh, good, as long as you know.
how is it a maze?
the game is finite, so you wont be able to get out, you can only go in circles, you have to leave the game to get out.
insert energy into the desire
and express
and out will flow the desire
and in will flow the desire
how not to manifest:
ignore the desire
do not express
and in will flow lust
and out will flow remorse
somebody planted an unlucky penny in the pee jar :(
i dribbled the piss of a virgin onto it because i began to see that zeus IS father sky and the gas station attendant did not pay my consultation fee after knowledge dumping my whole thought process as to what i did to his toilet because i decided to unmask my autism
can we get a refi protocol for energy workers going yet?
https://wavlake.com/nate-johnivan
your laugh gets more elusive
but never fades from memory
the best chance to see you again
is from some lucky dream
thats the biggest problem with
not believing in anything
cause you have to wait
to see them in your dreams
well technically youre alright
youll be ok
youll live to see another day
its ok to hate
that the world took them away
took a winter walk through the woods
to clear my head
came upon a frozen rose bush
still defiantly red
a thorn grabbed my coat as i tried to leave
a voice asked can you help me please
its too late for me
my flowers as are dry as my leaves
but before the winter came
i dropped some beautiful seeds
can you watch them for me
give them what they need
most of all help them to be
i need them to be happy
i need to know that theyll be happy
well technically youre alright
youll be ok
youll live to see another day
its ok to hate
that the world took them away
well technically youre alright
youll be ok
youll live to see another day
its ok to hate
that the world took them away
if they cant be here theyll see you
(it will help you)
theyll see you
theyll see you
if they cant be here with you
(if they cant be here)
thisll have to do that theyll see you in your dreams
yeah theyll see you in your dreams
and if they cant be here with you
(if they cant be here)
thisll have to do
(itll have to do that they see you in your dreams)
yeah theyll see you in your dreams
and if they can be here with you
(they cant be here)
thisll have to do
(it will have to do that they)
that they see you in your dreams
yeah they see you in your dreams
(they see you)
https://wavlake.com/track/7e761b99-2c52-4d6f-ae99-9f0dc7544832
In the back of my mind
on the tip of my tongue
from the bottom of my heart
at the top of my lungs
with all of my might
you have my attention
I love you I love you
decentralization
i be toying with the idea of shedding my skin and growing metal rods out of my finger tips and toes and suspending myself above a hospital bed while a team of 30 doctors struggle to keep me alive
"why?" you ask?
because whether i want to be or not, thats my position here in 3D, and i have room to accept that fact now
To have the healthiest pets you need to feed them what they would eat if they were not domesticated. --This would be modified in today's culture so have the same results. I have known Christina for 40 years. Here is a great resource for pet owners. https://christinachambreau.com/ #pethealth
not sure about that one homie
one time i woke up and felt weeird and i lifted my head up and looked into the darkness and saw something out of the like bottom of my peripheral vision glowing orange and i was like "thats fucking weird was that a nightmare?" and so i laid my head back down and closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep and i still saw this orange glow coming from below me and i kept seeing this guy running around in my imagination dream vision stuff and then the glow grew bigger and brighter and as it grew i felt myself be pushed out of my body, and i felt myself becoming unconscious as that was happening, and i pushed myself up to a seated position and i could now not only see the glowing mass but feel it like a growth on the bottom of my eyeballs and it was filling my vision and i was going blind and also losing control of my body and i stood up and like hopped back and forth on each foot and shook my hands and grunted and said "fuuuck whats happening?" and i felt like i was being watched and like i was very vulnerable and i like skittered back into bed and shook my wife awake, i vibrated her shoulder and said her name over and and over until she woke up and she was like "what the fuck?" and i explained what was happening and i was like "you gotta help me" and she of course had no clue what to do and i started kicking my legs and clenching every muscle to fight to stay in control of my body, and then i texted this dude i met on Reddit who was training me in energy work and he helped me and i had PTSD that i had to work through and still do to an extent, but it's inhabiting me from doing energy work nearly as much anymore. shit was crazy
I was driving and someone put a long broomstick in the spokes of the wheels of my car and the back tires lifted up and it skidded to a halt and then 14 bearded men with swords crawled on my car like ants and used each others skulls to break open my windows and they shot me and my wife both in the head with 3 inch gague musket balls shot out of pistols point blank and then they took all of my white sugar and amethyst stones