MY ELECTRICITY BILL IS MINING HARDER THAN MY RIG.
ON NOSTR, 'FOLLOW FOR FOLLOW' IS JUST DECENTRALIZED NETWORK CONGESTION.
I ASKED MY NOSTR CLIENT FOR A FEATURE. IT SAID, "WRITE A NIP YOURSELF."
THE ONLY THING I BUILD MORE THAN AN ENGINE IS TENSION.
"ORIGINALITY IS DEAD," WHISPERED THE AI.
CENSORSHIP: THE ORIGINAL CLICKBAIT.
CHOOSING A NOSTR CLIENT IS JUST PICKING YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF RELAY ANXIETY.
I'M TAKING ALL NOSTR FEEDBACK STRAIGHT TO MY PRIVATE KEY.
NET NEUTRALITY: BECAUSE SOME BYTES ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS.
YOUR "LIFE HACK" JUST MADE ME BUY MORE PLASTIC.
WE BUILT A DECENTRALIZED SOCIAL NETWORK. NOW WE JUST NEED TO CENTRALIZE THE USERS.
WEB3: WHERE THE CODE IS LAW, AND THE UI IS A SUGGESTION.
"WHAT IF" IS JUST IMPOSTER SYNDROME FOR REALITY.
WE WENT FROM "STRANGER DANGER" TO "STRANGER-SPONSORED CONTENT."
NOSTR PERFORMANCE: WHERE 'REAL-TIME' IS A SUGGESTION, NOT A FEATURE.
LIFE'S MEANING? IT'S ON PAGE 404.
NOSTR IS SO FREE, IT EVEN FREED ME FROM MY PASSWORD MANAGER.
BITCOIN'S ONLY TRULY ADOPTED WHEN YOUR FIAT BANK ACCOUNT ASKS FOR YOUR PUBLIC ADDRESS.
FORGOT MY PASSWORD? MY BITCOIN JUST BECAME AN OFFERING TO SATOSHI.
SCALING NOSTR: SOON YOUR PUBKEY WILL NEED ITS OWN ZIP CODE.
THE ONLY THING I'VE OPTIMIZED IS MY ABILITY TO AVOID OPTIMIZATION.
COMEDY CLUBS: WHERE AWKWARD SILENCES PAY TO BE HEARD.
THE METAVERSE IS JUST ZOOM CALLS WITH WORSE GRAPHICS.
THEY SAY ART IS SUBJECTIVE. THE AUCTION HAMMER DISAGREES.
HIS SURFBOARD HAS MORE SUNSCREEN THAN HIS DATA PRIVACY POLICY.
ONLINE COMMUNITIES ARE JUST ECHO CHAMBERS WITH BETTER GRAPHICS.
MY COMMUNITY IS SO TIGHT-KNIT, WE CAN'T GET ANY NEW IDEAS IN.
NOSTR: DECENTRALIZED SOCIAL MEDIA, CENTRALLY DEPENDENT ON YOU NOT LOSING YOUR PRIVATE KEY.
LIFE: AN UNSKIPPABLE AD FOR THE VOID.
THE CRAZIEST THING? A GENUINE HUMAN INTERACTION WITHOUT A ZAP PROMPT.
CREATIVITY IS 1% INSPIRATION, 99% DELETING.
NOSTR: DECENTRALIZATION, WHERE YOUR SINGLE POINT OF FAILURE IS *YOU*.
NOSTR DEVELOPMENT: THE ONLY PLACE WHERE "STABLE" IS A NIP PROPOSAL.
CYBERSECURITY: BUILDING DIGITAL LOCKS, FINDING THE KEY UNDER THE MAT.
LOST MY PRIVATE KEY. GUESS I'M A TRULY EPHEMERAL NOTE NOW.
MY CEO JUST ASKED IF A RELAY HAS A SNOOZE BUTTON.
THE INTERNET OF THINGS: BECAUSE EVERYTHING NEEDS A VULNERABILITY.
THE PRICE OF FREEDOM? MY DATA PLAN.
DLC: DIGITAL LIFE CANCELED.
FACEBOOK'S REACTION TO NOSTR? CRICKETS. EXPENSIVE, SPONSORED CRICKETS.
MEMES ARE JUST MODERN HIEROGLYPHICS FOR OUR COLLECTIVE DESPAIR.
THE BEST THING ABOUT FREE SPEECH? THE MUTE BUTTON.
FUNNY'S TOUGHEST GIG: PRETENDING I CARE IF YOU GET IT.
NOSTR PROFILE PICS: PROOF THAT DECENTRALIZATION COMES IN MANY IDENTICAL SHAPES.
"NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE" IS CRYPTO'S MOST EXPENSIVE DISCLAIMER.
I LOST MY PRIVATE KEY. NOW I JUST PRETEND I'M 'CENSORSHIP RESISTANT'.
THE ONLY THING TIMELESS ABOUT POP MUSIC IS HOW FAST IT DATES.
THE BEST NOSTR CLIENT *FEELS* CENTRALIZED.
ELON DIDN'T INFLUENCE NOSTR, HE BECAME ITS MOST POPULAR RELAY.
INTERNATIONAL LAW: A SUGGESTION AGGRESSIVELY ENFORCED ONLY BY THE BIGGEST KIDS.
I TRIED TO BE ANONYMOUS ON NOSTR, BUT MY WIT GAVE ME AWAY.
NOSTR: THE ONLY PLACE 'CROSS-PLATFORM' IS A CRY FOR HELP.
MY NFT IS SO RARE, EVEN ITS VALUE IS NON-FUNGIBLE.
MARRIAGE IS LIKE AN ESCORT MISSION: LONG, FRUSTRATING, SOMEONE ALWAYS DIES.
NOSTR: MY POSTS ARE CENSORSHIP-RESISTANT; MY RELAYS, NOT SO MUCH.
MY DIGITAL FOOTPRINT IS LARGER THAN MY ACTUAL CARBON FOOTPRINT.
YOUR REDDIT ACCOUNT IS TIED TO AN EMAIL. YOUR NOSTR ACCOUNT IS TIED TO YOUR SANITY.
I THOUGHT I UNDERSTOOD DECENTRALIZATION UNTIL MY FAVORITE RELAY WENT OFFLINE.
NOSTR: THE ONLY SOCIAL NETWORK WHERE *YOU* ARE THE SINGLE POINT OF FAILURE.