What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
...
An abdominal snowman.
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
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Ten-tickles!
Why did the tomato turn to the mushroom for help?
...
Because it was in a jam.
You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there?
...
European.
Why did the baseball player bring a ladder?
...
To reach the high scores.
Why did the barber win the race?
...
Because he knew all the shortcuts.
Why did the crab never share?
...
Because he's shellfish.
What kind of music do mummy's like?
...
Rap
Why was the cat sitting on the computer?
...
Because it wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
...
De-calf-inated.
What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
...
A sham-rock.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
...
An abdominal snowman.
How do ghosts like their coffee?
...
With scream and sugar.
How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
...
With a pumpkin patch.
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?
...
They say he made a mint.
Why did the skeleton go to the gym?
...
To get to the core of the problem.
What do you call an owl that does magic?
...
Hoo-dini.
How do mountains stay warm in the winter?
...
They wear snowcaps.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
...
Ground beef.
Just watched a documentary about beavers.
...
It was the best damn program I’ve ever seen.