You know what? Fuck it. Blackout.
I wish 1) I lived somewhere with pavement 2) I didn't have a gimpy Osgood-Schlatter knee so I could actually (learn to) run with my dog. 😥
Comment on a seemingly insightful AuDHD post on Instagram and get an auto-bot DM invitation to sign up for their course.
SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHHHH.
Of course, yesterday was hard. They were checking the smoke detectors so there was constant beeping for an hour+, then they tested the fire alarm, and next here comes a guy to adjust my desk but he was big and NOT LISTENING and he kept TOUCHING MY STUFF and he completely fucked up my monitors.
The one thing I will never understand about NTs is energy levels. I've never done well with a 40hr week. Yesterday was hard; today I am DEAD. And yet most of my coworkers (collective, past & present) who seem to sail through also have children!! So what's my excuse for being so fucking tired?!
For those of us who are #AuDHD but had therapists and meds-management psychiatrists suggest over and over that we might be #bipolar ... Professor Sol just helped me figure out the words to contradict them.
Bipolar is your brain pushing you out of regulation. #AuDHD is your brain trying to pull you back into regulation.
For this #MusicWomenWednesday I'd like to share this lovely holiday song just released by my amazing friend Natasha Barbieri! 🥰 #mezzosoprano #classicalcrossover
I just stirred up SO MUCH DUST from digging for one stupid Christmas ornament... yes I have a "shoving things in boxes and forgetting about them" problem... guess going through everything I just dragged out (and getting rid of most of it) is my end-of-year reset project...
Early xmas present to myself. 🙃⚾️
#baltimoreorioles #letsgoOs #baseball https://cdn.nostrcheck.me/8086853eb6c54b1f3a7205f54f5f107816d01dc4bacf995412f923d9666ad9bd/913805f68ee4028b9f3a83bc05e031d776d0afc293c004a2f720ee317adabb5a.webp
My dad shared this link with me... thought I'd pass it on...
https://www.soundonsound.com/news/12-days-soundtoys
#plugins #soundtoys #giveaway #audio #production #sounddesign #music #musicmaking #musicproduction
Gah, having feelings is so yucky. Like a chest full of fuzzy caterpillars. (Was going to say worms, but it's not THAT gross. I mean it is, but...)
What I wish my parents' generation understood about "picky eaters" (autistic in my case) especially younger ones, is that we may ask for a peanut butter sandwich, thinking it's "safe," but if you have the wrong kind of PB, wrong kind of bread, wrong kind of jelly, or only jelly instead of honey, don't butter the bread before the PB... it's no longer the food we expected or agreed to eat. It's wrong.
I've always hated that about that side of the family. Anybody's news / business / personal life is fair game to be passed along the gossip chain. "BECAUSE WE'RE YOUR FAMILY AND WE LOVE YOU" -- and they think they DESERVE ACCESS to me. I'm so fucking angry right now.
Also love that my grandmother has been telling everyone "where" I work even though she didn't actually know.
Love that I get a job helping people and my family is reacting OH THEY'RE TERRIBLE IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO GET SOMEONE ON THE PHONE blah blah. You wanna pay more taxes for more state employee salaries? No? Then shut up.
You know, I basically have to just keep reminding myself that Threads is closer to Facebook than Instagram in the Meta-verse.
Guys, can we all appreciate how this genius can't even use the r-slur in the correct grammatical form? 🧐 https://cdn.nostrcheck.me/8086853eb6c54b1f3a7205f54f5f107816d01dc4bacf995412f923d9666ad9bd/9f59dd72a4c1edc363582ddc6e5751befb811972740e95c60cab746ae62274ad.webp
@Condor
Are you ok?
"We didn't have #autism back in my day..."
How many seniors do we know who, not being senile nor otherwise forgetful, just really relish telling the SAME STORY(IES) all the time?
👀
I'm a pretty dang good baker if I do say so myself, but the rolling pin is my MORTAL ENEMY. I hate cookie recipes you have to roll out. And into a perfect rectangle?! Forget it. Those raggedy edges are going into my mouth raw.
My insurance and rural location are probably going to be insurmountable hurdles, BUT for information's sake, is anyone willing to recommend a therapist/office in #Kansas #KS specializing in adult #autism (*not* ABA) they've had a good experience with?
#actuallyautistic #audhd #therapy
Gawd, I am so sick of TS taking these concepts like "folklore" and "showgirls" and basically trademarking them so the rest of us can't touch them without being labeled a copycat. I swear she's snooping in my notes app or something.
... *What if* those dropped imagined scenarios -- because #autistic pattern recognition (slash adhd? I don't know if I can separate them in MY brain) + anxiety actually makes us pretty damn good at predicting the future -- are what cause the feeling of deja vu? 👀 (3/fin)
I need to be a different person. I need a break from being me.
The executive dysfunction is winning today and I'm miserable and anxious about it.
#AuDHD
If this is how futile and pointless and painful my life is going to be, it's not worth living.
I couldn't get a job scrubbing toilets in a prison if I TRIED. Why bother. This hellscape is going to kill us all eventually. Just kill me now and spare me the suffering.
So, I'm learning since Andrea Gibson's death that there are 'people' (troglodytes) who think their poetry "isn't very good."
And while you'd think that would be somewhat an encouragement, you know, you can't be EVERYONE'S cup of tea...
But REALLY it's just heartbreaking and demoralizing and demotivating that such block headed philistines even exist in the world.
Why bother making art at all, if THAT is the predominant audience of the future???