That was fun.

From: BITKARROT at 04/29 19:40

Kinda embarrassing (please ignore the bad drawing 😩). I must be a masochist cos I enjoy embarrassing myself on here, sharing bits of myself with you all 🤔. Feels scary but good.

I started drawing again - for fun - and i found some old stuff. Here’s an old film I made when I was at uni yeeears ago.

After months I scrapped the original idea cos I was so frustrated. I lost faith and passion because I kept getting conflicting feedback from my peers and tutors and felt that nobody understood what I was trying to do - my fault. I’m not the best at presenting. I so badly wanted to pull the idea out of my head and hold it in front of them, because they couldn’t see what I could. It made me doubt myself and I ended up scrapping the idea two/one weeks before the deadline and start from scratch.

I completely disappeared from the world, asked my then boyfriend for some space to work and became a ghost to my family. I sat down and decided to just draw how I felt instead of having an actual story. I really wanted to sleep and go outside - touch grass. It ended up paying off, they liked it (god knows why).

It made me realise that even though the people around you may have good intentions, they won’t always see things the way you do, or understand what you’re trying to do. You just have to trust the process, keep the passion, keep moving forwards, trust yourself and why you started doing what you’re doing in the first place.

Am I a pussy for posting this so early/late in the AM on a Sunday when I know hardly anyone will be online? Mayyyybe, but I still posted it 🫂