It’s the mid autumn festival + national day holiday now, since it’s a ten-day holiday, a lot of people choose to come back home reunion with family or travel somewhere. I remembered when in college, the campus will be empty and quiet during the holiday, and I would feel lonely and have a strong desire to connect with someone connect with the whole world during those periods. But now while the surrounding environment gets quiet, I really really enjoy it. It feels everything just slows down. I can do something I can do nothing. I walk down the street. The air is filled with osmanthus. I don’t mind living my life like this!

I guess I slept quite well last night, it’s just I woke up at 5 and then fell asleep again very quickly. Then finally woke up at 7. During the last two hours of sleep, I had a dream. Four of us went to climb a mountain, and I can’t remember everyone of them, only one is a friend from primary school, let’s call her A. We were about to climb down a cave, and A was in the front, I followed her. Suddenly we heard her screaming and just being pulled down the cave. We knew that she was pulled by some bears(? I don’t know why, I just remembered some bears got her)

And we just stuck in that area didn’t dare to get down the cave. I remembered the sunset was pretty but I was leaned on the stone with deepest sadness.

Not sure why I dreamed of her, for she was a friend lost in touch. But I still feel quite sad about this dream when I recall it now.

Read a tweet about how eating bigger animals could plausibly reduces sufferings. Never think of eating meat in this animal sufferings perspective and it does have impacts on me.

I’m now in a shop seeing all those meat and can’t help thinking about the sufferings part🥹 And even feel quite guilty about my love for shrimps

https://x.com/tautologer/status/1707114624209035374?s=46&t=bPDELkt74WcSQypvQhDAdQ

Before, I find playback speed a very useful function in any video/ audio platform. And I speed up when watching a lot of courses or listening to some podcasts. But now I feel, maybe if I need to speed up or slow down, the contents are not really for me, I may not be the creator’s target person. If it’s the right content for me, then I should perfectly fit into the rhythm of that content.

When thinking about something, I have an intention of debating for both sides and finally come to a conclusion that oh there’s no absolute right or wrong, it’s just a choice or it depends on different situations. I thought that’s critical thinking. But it’s not, my avoiding choosing sides or standing a point is me trying to avoid being wrong. Don’t wanna do that anymore, clearly present your perspective.

Every time I learn something new and find it may make sense if applying to my life, I will still postpone doing it. And would find myself an excuse like: maybe I’m not ready, maybe it’s just not a good timing, when I’m ready it would just happen naturally and it would benefit me the most by then.

🧐why not just do it next time( try to encourage myself here

Re-reading and these days, no matter what happens, I try to bring concentration clarity and equanimity to that experience. Last night, I suddenly have the feeling of living at the moment.

When I grow up, it seems life has been a straight line with plenty of milestones, I need to go and go and mark all the milestones and go to the next one. And once I have struggles, I would think that oh maybe just tackle this one and then next stage I will be fine. But no, that’s not how life works. It’s not a one way straight road, it has physical space with unlimited reach, you can go towards all directions and extend to infinity.

There will be no one single moment/ person/ book/ movie and anything that could change your life after you get them finished, and you have no todo list to check. You can just be at the moment. nostr:note1q0plhzk8fzm0x3q9yc70taw07h7qucc5ga5chwryuuy5q3vpjygs8rqafu

🌽

Still find myself could easily be triggered(means not maintain calmness) while in a noisy office.

A lot of people talk loudly, they think they are debating some valuable topic, in me, they are just arguing. And an inner voice shouting: could you please shout up! You idiots!

Look like I still have a long way to go.

#whatNikkiread

Start to read How to Read a Book by Mortimer J.Adler

Need to mark down Four main questions you must ask about any book:

1️⃣ What is the book about as a whole?

2️⃣ What is being said in detail, and how?

3️⃣ Is the book true, the whole or part?

4️⃣ What of it?

I guess most people’s love for book will go from fiction first and then nonfiction. You may wanna entertain yourself from reading at first but gradually you want to gain more understanding about everything from reading. Not saying the last is superior than entertainment, just feel at some points, while you get new insights from nonfiction, it can bring even more satisfaction than pure entertainment.

I find myself is really that kind of person who doesn’t mind eating the same food everyday. Maybe after a long period of time I would get bored of it and I would find another substitute then sticking with it for another period of time🤣

And even when I’m traveling, I have not much enthusiasm finding the local food or try something new.

#whatNikkiwatch

The final season of Sex Education released, and yesterday I finally opened it, but closed after 20min😅

It ain’t feel right! I remembered I watched those first three seasons with high enthusiasm when I was in college. Almost love every character and the whole vide!

What happened to this season!?

But maybe I’m also changing and no longer like such topic? High possibility! Everything has its target group and maybe I’m no longer in that group but shift to another one.

Heard that the final season of stranger things will be released next year and I now have a feeling that maybe I will no longer find it interesting 😆😅

me trying to meditate but accidentally fall asleep. Wake up 40 min later😅 feel very fresh so I guess this also counts🫶

People always sit to meditate instead of lying down. Is it because lying down could be too comfortable and easily fall asleep 😅

Curiosity is the most appealing trait in a person. Don’t lose it.

Every time I interact with the world, it’s a test about where my position is in the world. Like I’m still not sure where I should be, me along the humanity history and me among the whole cosmos. Balance and then rebalance during the process, self reflect and self criticize, guess it’s also a process of deeply understanding myself.

“The way to hell is paved with good intentions.”

Listen to the first episode because of the other jack and become a fan of this podcast!

Except from the good content, I found what attracts me is the fearlessness conveyed. When someone’s being fearless he could easily sound arrogant or aggressive, but jack makes it in a charismatic way 🫡weird not sure how this happened curious about this personality haha guess if jack goes dark, he could go very dark and be a total evil nostr:note19r5c7dfvnchqxpez0vw4gxm5up5ex3mzfsl899qhn5rctt07c0ws0x2vxc

I’m right! Period arrived this norning😅 magical woman body sensation