They M&M-McFucked the McFlurry.
In the late 20th and early 21st centuries, the monkeys began to wash, dry, and even wear plastic.
People ask why I care so much about flexibility and mobility.
Because I stay at Marriotts. And I’d like to reach the toilet paper.
Just ate some Panda Express. Feeling really really really good.
I’ll have to try that. My first principles mistake was the software update
Long day ahead? Throw your phone into Low Power Mode so it can perform like absolute dogshit from sunrise to sundown.
Scanning rewards doubles the length of any transaction
What were you doing outside? Oh, just collapsing some photons into existence.
This Halloween, remember: the 100 Grand bar, created in 1966, is now technically the 4 Million bar. The money printer is spooky!
I’ve made the adult decision to be upset at the weather today.
Can’t get over how LEDs are secretly flickering all the time. What an oversight.
Has anyone ever really just gone for it? Like, replaced all their felt hangers with plastic? Just really gone for it. Was it everything you dreamed it would be?
So houseplants are a scam. And there are flies in the fruit. Have a great day.
GM, Nostr! Relax this morning—have a coffee.
Core shit a brick for me after updating so now I’m trying knots.
So the Department of War is going back to being called the Department of War? Ok got it.
Stevie wonder is great for the first 90s or so before he starts screaming.
If Marriott’s margins hinge on stocking their hotels with the cheapest toilet paper known to man, maybe they don’t deserve to stay in business.
IMAX: go out of your way to see a movie correctly.