Recent superhero movie reviews (spoilers ahead):

Superman: 2 black holes too many

Fantastic Four: 1 black hole too many

There’s actually nothing wrong with bread in America. What you’re eating is not bread.

Perhaps we subconsciously reinforce our dogs neurosis because we find the behavior “cute”. Are we nurturing affection or anxiety?

Celebrating my birthday the responsible way today — buying more Bitcoin.

GM nostr! They say it can’t be done. But with water, gravity, and a complete disregard for physics, I will unshrink this shirt.

Is that brief pause in hold music intentional? Calculated? A psychological ploy to keep us alert and hopeful that someone’s just about to pick up?

By the time you recognize a pattern and build the conviction to act on it, it doesn’t reverse because you acted — it reverses because, statistically, it was due to.

If you find yourself at a Flower Child — I do not recommend the avocado hummus.

One thing at a time. Gotta let the furniture settle in first.

Got some new patio furniture

My sister just orange-pilled my coffee. Gifted me a blend that combines two of my favorite things. She nailed it. Time to brew some freedom. #bitcoin #coffee

That’s it. My ice cream just got shrinkflated from 850 to 720 calories. If that’s not the clearest market signal, I don’t know what is. And the kicker? They kept the volume the same and quietly cut the mass - like we wouldn’t notice.

I was at least 50 yards away with no line of sight in the airport today, yet my nasal passages were suddenly accosted by something slimy, slightly overdue, and unmistakably sweaty. I thought - surely not. Here too? It couldn’t possibly be.

Maybe someone had just opened a paper bag holding turkey, nestled between two soggy slices of wheat bread left out in the sun too long.

Maybe a cucumber had been rotting in someone’s suitcase since their last excursion.

Maybe a utility cart just rolled by, carrying a wet mop soaked in mustard.

Or perhaps some cold cuts had fused with their plastic wrap and evolved into something new - yet nostalgically tragic.

But no. Unfortunately not.

It was the promise of freshness. It was Subway.

Don’t let incompetence stop you. Don’t let competence mislead you. Neither is a reason by itself to act - or not act.

As if “they” don’t know exactly where we are!? Just put my location at the tippy top!

Did Oreo realize they weren’t just making a cookie, but laying the foundation for ice cream immortality? Did they grasp the full, dairy-shattering frozen gravity of their creation?

You used to be able to get a full meal for the price of a custard.

True and getting a man on the moon is easy when the incentives are right!

Ah yes, the push-door trash can. Because nothing says hygienic waste disposal like shoving your hand through a swinging flap of communal filth. A triumph of design, truly.

Thunderbolts* - turns out all Marvel had to do was make a decent, normal movie again. Imagine that. Maybe there’s hope.