Bro you gotta join ICE, the benefits are insane. Free diapers in case you shit your pants when you see a brown person. Everyone gets protective sunglasses not just for the job but also for when a girl pepper sprays you because you tried to talk to her. Roofies in the kidnapping van are up for grabs.
It's the world's most powerful renewable resource.
I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.
THAT IS HELPFUL TO KNOW.
If you want to help celebrate my birthday, support on Patreon is greatly appreciated! But I understand if you're going all out on a present for your favorite ant instead.
Turned 32 today. I share a birthday with Bob Dylan, John C. Reilly, and billions of ants.
She means it, I can see it in her eyes.
I am trying to find my people on Mastodon. Can you please boost this if you:
-eat far too many sweet potatoes because you hope to discover the sweetest potato.
-wish there was more moss. Moss is great.
-suspect that big pharma invented pickleball so the elderly are more likely to get injured and be prescribed painkillers.
-keep a salt shaker on you at all times, in case someone surprises you with undersalted french fries, and also in case the slugs decide to wage war on humanity.
Very cool that the new Apple Watch has an environmentally friendly new feature that tells you how many trees you just killed every time you charge it.
We can't tax billionaires. If they have to pay taxes then billionaires won't be able to afford as many yachts. Then the billionaires who own yacht companies won't be able to afford as many private jets. This will make the private jet moguls unable to afford as many mansions. The suffering will continue to pass from one billionaire to the next. Do you people not understand trickle down economics?
*Government restricts our rights*
People: This is fine.
*Government threatens to restrict the privileges of billionaires*
People: Stop them! If they could do it to billionaires then they could do it to us!
