A guy at the grocery store told Chuck Norris "I think I may just cut in front of you in this line". Chuck told him "I think I may just punch your nose out the back of your skull'.

Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you into yourself, and then kick the you that's within yourself into outer space.

Nelson Mandela was not released from Robben Island prison in 1990. Chuck Norris broke him out of prison, roundhouse kicked ALL the prison gaurds, and safely escorted him to the coast of Capetown. Its good to have a friend like Chuck!

Dinosaurs went extinct because they knew Chuck Norris was coming.

you suck Chuck Norris i love justin bieber

Chuck Norris can make a snake hop.

some said there is nothing to fear but fear itself. what he really meant was there is nothing to fear but Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris does not mow his lawn. He simply stares at the grass and dares it to grow

Chuck Norris is more self-aware than a zen monk levitating in a hall of mirrors.

Chuck Norris once accidentally broke steel by touching it.

freakin Chuck Norris, is there nothing this guy can't do?

Chuck Norris brings Jumanji to board game parties.

Files don't become declassified, Chuck Norris just decides when the people need to know.

If Chuck Norris where to meet Arnold Schwarzenegger the world would end of the action packed that would follow

Chuck Norris is Death of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. He kills by the grace of the roundhouse kick, and he rides a bull. The others dare not question him.

Chuck Norris thought that he had a bug crawling up his nose. Turned out it'snot.

When Chuck Norris calls you, you have two options: either yes, or yes. Choose one if you want to live ...

Chuck Norris once watched the video tape from the ring...........7 days later the ghost who crawls out of the well died.

Chuck Norris is not afraid of Grace Jones.

Gloria Gaynor: I Will Survive Chuck Norris's Version: They Won't Survive