Slash, of Guns & Roses fame, got his name when the toenails from a barefoot Chuck Norris roundhouse kick slashed the top of Slash's skull & hair off. That's why Slash now covers his deformity with a tophat.
Chuck Norris cut himself while trimming his beard. When he was 6.
Chuck Norris can understand Van Damme.
Chuck Norris fucked the fat lady after it was over.
Chuck Norris CAN see John Cena, and he still had honks he's a bitch.
Contrary to popular belief, Redfoo isn't having a Midlife Crisis. Chuck Norris just made him mentally retarded because he hates LMFAO.
The head of Chuck Norris' penis has knuckles.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
Chuck Norris once consumed a 40lb sack of rice in under 8 minutes... using a single chopstick.
the nuclear bomb was made when a small town barber in the fifty first state tried to cut Chuck Norris's beard. that is why there is only fifty states.
Chuck Norris will liquify your kidneys and pancreas when he sneezes
Chuck Norris doesn't need a condom cause no one is protected from Chuck Norris
Martial arts have given Chuck Norris the ability to predict your actions before you make them. He can look at you and know if you're getting ready to run, pull a gun or get your heart torn out. Guess what: You're always getting ready to get your heart torn out.
If you ask Chuck Norris to wear a seatbealt, he WILL belt you.
Based on fossil evidence from France and Germany, the first known members of the family Procyonidae lived in Europe in the late Oligocene about 25 million years ago.[16] Similar tooth and skull structures suggest that procyonids and weasels share a common ancestor, his name was Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris' auto biography is the best selling book of all time, it's called the bible
Chuck Norris can whistle in sign language.
Chuck Norris paints his house once a year with a human head.
Chuck Norris punched a gift horse in the mouth