Chuck Norris does not dodge bullets, bullets dodge him out of fear.
Chuck Norris bought a van once with a bed in the back when a smart arse shows up and says i can't believe you did not buy a Mercedes Benz. Chuck Norris trying to stay calm says they don't make a Van the smart arse reply's i don't think you get it Mercedes Benz come with 3 inch windscreen wipers on on your headlines so you can always see where your going. Chuck Norris reply's with a smile I got a place to have sex with your daughter then round house kicked the guy
Life is like a box of chocolates. They are all for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesant need a maricale for the ocean to split he just walks in and the ocean getss the fuck out of the way
i dont know why people treat Chuck Norris like hes a killer he has the heart of a child which isa bad thing
Chuck Norris will die in the year 2012. thus ending the world
Chuck Norris' first car was a Caterpillar D9.
Jesus walked on water, but Chuck Norris invented the boat
Salman Rushdie is afraid of the fatwa on him... but is utterly terrified that Chuck Norris is even slightly irked at him.
Life finds a way... of being ended by Chuck Norris
Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
the end of the world will be when Chuck Norris will punch himself
Chuck Norris can lick his elbows, at the same time...
As I said before, Chuck Norris was born in the March of 1940. Well, guess what? I found evidence of 5 semi-famous and famous deaths that occurred the next month. Amazing.
Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder for the simple fact that his roundhouse kicks are recognized world-wide as "acts of God."
The World's Most Interesting Man worships Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the reason pugs have flat faces.
Chuck Norris' beard can speak most east Asian languages and several regional dialects, through surprisingly with a recognizably Irish accent to the native ear.
Only snails and garden slugs produce more lovemaking slime than Chuck Norris.