Surely there are aliens in the universe, but guess why they don't come to earth? Chuck Norris does not allow them to.
Chuck Norris' pager is still cool
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor immedately put a name tag on his wirst, and a Shoalin Monk put a black belt around his waist. The president gave him a cigar.
The reason why Chuck Norris is such a badass is he thought all the yo momma jokes were written about his mother.
Chuck Norris exercises on two treadmills running in opposite directions
The Titanic didnt sink because of an iceberg.. Chuck Norris just went out for a swim
Chuck Norris thinks outside the box,then roundhouse kicks the box into oblivion.
The time was afraid to go by fast because it didn't wanna be ahead of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris won the PBA Championship Rodeo Bull Riding contest by riding Snort, a 6,450 lb Brahma Bull for 4 hrs 27 minutes when Snort finally collapsed. 9 months later, Snort had a calf.
what has 4 teeth and 100 legs? the front row of the collingwood cheersquad. why? because Chuck Norris barracks for st. kilda
MacGyver once crossed the Pacific Ocean with the aid of a flathead screwdriver, an avocado, an icepick, 2 snorkels, 4 toothpicks, duct tape, low-fat milk, a whetstone, neon gas, oven cleaner, 2 pesto-infusing turkey syringes, the Batman symbol, 432 cases of Coors Light, and his own theme music. Chuck Norris just took one step from Texas to Cambodia.
Chuck Norris never liked the Phillippines. Especially Tacloban.
CHUCK NORRIS NEESDS TO USE A SEATBELT WHEN USING THE TOILET BECAUSE OF RECOIL!
Only Chuck Norris can cause a Sonic Boom.
They say that the size and value of a man's car is inversely proportional to the size of his manhood. That must be why Chuck Norris usually gets around on a pair of rollerskates. And a wheelbarrow.
Chuck Norris cant't commit suicide because not even Chuck Norris can kill Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris drinks his whiskey with a goddamn funnel.
The Loch Ness Monster is a myth. Chuck Norris was just taking his pet dinosaur out for a friendly swim.
Everyone is entitled to Chuck Norris' opinion...or a roundhouse kick to the jaw.