Chuck Norris took his dog to the vet. The doctor neutered himself.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a guy called Phil. Afterwards Phil became known as Empty.

gravity is not curvedness of scace and time.its just a Chuck Norris chasing texas badass dudes

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris had a staring contest with the sky, it fell.

Chuck Norris' first car was Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris is the eleventh plague of Egypt.

When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, it comes back with a beer.

Chuck Norris can finish the "song that never ends".

On Storage Wars, Chuck Norris is allowed go in all the storage lockers and open all the boxes he wants. Who's going to stop him.

Chuck Norris created the alphabet just so he could spell the words "kicked your ass".

Chuck Norris. A man whose face alone is terrifying enough to make your chest hair commit suicide.

Chuck Norris is not afraid of a skin walker

The descendents of Chuck Norris have divided into two widely known cultures: New Jersey and New York.

Chuck Norris once cast a fishing line into the Atlantic Ocean and caught 243 fish...then the hook hit the water

Contrary to popular belief, the first Thanksgiving was actually celebrated in 34,587 B.C. after an ancestor of Chuck Norris stabbed to death a Teradactyl that was attacking Fred Flintstone.

Only one person cried when Chuck Norris was born and that was the doctor.... no one slaps Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris killed his shadow while shadow boxing. That's why you never see his shadow when he comes up behind you.

Chuck Norris can inseminate females of other species, just by burping the nephew.

You don't question Chuck Norris, because if you do, he'll drink a liter of liquid egg, then punch your sternum so hard that you'll vomit bloody stool.