Chuck Norris went into a Catholic confession booth and made the preist confess to over one hundred unsolved pedophilia cases. Then Norris jammed a crucifix up his ass and emptied two Uzis into his face. On live TV.
Chuck Norris could kick a faggot straight.
The DeathStar wasn't a destroying machine, it was one of Chuck Norris' balls.
Chuck Norris once watched an episode of Friends and saw an African-American with a major role.
Mr. T, Arnold Shcwarzzenger, and Chuck Norris are standing in front of God. God says to them,"I have call you three here because you are the greatest fighters in the world and I have a place for one of you at my right hand. You must prove to me whom of you it shall be." Mr. T steps and says "I pity the fool who doesn't let me sit at His right hand." God tells him that he was not good enough and sends Mr. T to hell. Arnold steps up and says "I was in predator, commando, the terminator. You must choose the governator." God tells him not good enough and sends Arnold to hell. God turns to Chuck Norris and say "Why should you sit beside me?" Chuck quickly proceeds to roundhouse kick God in the face and say "Bitch, your in my seat.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he pees
Chuck Norris will never suffer from a demonic possession, but demons can suffer from a Chuck Norris-Possession.
Confucius say, wise man not stand infront of Brahma Bull; not stand behind mule; not stand infront, behind, or beside Chuck Norris.
Colten: Chuck Norris Plus your mom plus you equals two bodies lying in a huge pool of blood and a diabolical smile on Chuck Norris' face.
Chuck Norris once stared at a solar eclipse using a pair of binoculars. The seared binoculars are now the world's first dual lense 3D kaleidoscope.
It's said that, when this website gets to Fact #9001, Chuck Norris will kick it in the URL, rocketing it up to 10,000 facts.
Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with "obstruction of justice." This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.
If you're going to prison, simply tattoo 'PROPERTY OF CHUCK NORRIS' on your lower back, and you can drop the soap all you want.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever successfully complete Harvard medical school and Harvard law school.....at the same time.
You will never see a Sasquatch because they're not about to risk running into Chuck Norris.
If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.
Effigies get burnt in Chuck Norris.
Led Zeppelin originally wanted to call their songs "Whole Lotta Chuck" and "Stairway To Chuck Norris' Basement"
Chuck Norris found Waldo, Carmen Sandiego and Jimmy Hoffa.