Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his own two hands

Chuck Norris was out for a hike when he came face to face with a Grizzly Bear. Witnesses say after screaming loudly, the bear ran whimpering into the woods.

#YOLO (exception: Chuck Norris)

Chuck Norris is the reason the penguins live in Antarctica.

Knock knock. Whos there? Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris who? Chuck Norris is gonna roundhouse kick ya in the FACE

Santa was real that is til he forgot Chuck Norris' christmas present.

If Chuck Norris ever dies, the US government will give him a twenty-one-nuke salute, on France, just like he wanted.

Chuck Norris can walk on trees.

Little known fact: the very first amendment to the constitution was to remove the heading 'CHUCK NORRIS' and adding other words.

A man once tried to beat Chuck Norris with his pennis,,,that man is now known as Rosie O'Donnell!!

Chuck Norris once ran a marathon because it was on his way.

Chuck Norris does not kill you; your already dead when you see him.

the tide recedes because it knows Chuck Norris is coming

When Chuck Norris showers he doesn't use soap he uses Aromatic Sulfuric Acid.

It goes without saying that you can't hold a candle to Chuck Norris. Mainly because he will fart on it and incinerate you.

When there is a thunderstorm and you see lightning, Chuck Norris follows it with by clapping his hands, causing thunder. There is no Mother Nature, only Chuck Nature.

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

Old Spice uses Chuck Norris bodywash

Chuck Norris' idea of a light snack is a big bowl of Fire Ants.

Chuck Norris' auto biography is the best selling book of all time, it's called the bible