At his wedding, Chuck Norris' first dance number was to 'Lord Of This World' by Black Sabbath.

If Chuck Norris gets pulled over, HE lets the policeman off with a warning.

Chuck Norris prefers to kill people in the key of D minor.

A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step... and of course can be ended with a single brutal Chuck Norris spinning snap kick to the side of the face. So think about that.

When playing craps, Chuck Norris only uses one die. And he always rolls a 7.

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

If you ask Chuck Norris to wear a seatbealt, he WILL belt you.

Chuck Norris is the director of ZOO jurassic park

Fifty Shades Of Chuck Norris.

The Van Halen song "Runnin' With The Devil" was originally called "Running Screaming From Chuck Norris".

Chuck Norris likes lots of honey on his Texas Toast. That's why he keeps 27 killer bee hives in his livingroom.

Hot news from the Vatican...white smoke appears. Chuck Norris has been elected Pope! All ye of faith, welcome Pope Charles deNoir-iz Kikyorectumis.

A good golfer can often make a 'birdie'. Better golfers frequently get an 'eagle'. Chuck Norris always gets a 'vulture'.

When Super Saiyans get angry they transform into Chuck Norris.

When a cop pulls Chuck Norris over for speeding, THE COP has to explain himself to Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris goes out to eat, he orders Valadi Roast, but he only eats its dampers.

the popular videogame "DOOM" is loosely based around the time satan borrowed two bucks from Chuck Norris and forgot to pay him back

Chuck Norris know what's a gayfish is!!!

Hitler shot himself not because the Russians were in Berlin, but because he heard Chuck Norris had just volunteered for military service.

Chuck Norris once shot a man, but without a gun.