Chuck Norris easily on the latest 'Iron Chef America' contest when he prepared and served the judges a knuckle sandwich loaded with C-4.
Chuck Norris never gets old. Oh the fact. Chuck Norris told us that dividing by zero makes the universe explode and then the nothingness explodes too.
Chuck Norris can litrely break a sweet
Chuck Norris is only demonic on the inside.
god said let there be light Chuck Norris said say please
Chuck Norris makes "smart bombs" look like a bunch of knuckleheads.
Chuck Norris can literally order Flied Lice at a Chinese takeout.
Chuck Norris is so fast that he can use the earths rotation as a tredmill.
Stephen Hawking doesn't really have Lou Gehrig's Disease. He's been confined to his chair after angering Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once rappelled 12,000 ft. down a mountain cliff to save a baby eagle chick that had fallen from its nest. After he returned the chick to its nest, the mother eagle flew in carrying a dead rabbit. Chuck Norris killed her instantly with a karate chop for being neglectful and threw her feathered carcass off the cliff. Then he ripped the rabbit apart with his teeth and lovingly fed the eagle chick mouth to beak. Chuck Norris is epic.
Chuck Norris was a first responder but he quit because people wanted him to use the defibrillators, and not roundhouse kicks.
It wasn't the a-bomb that annihilated nagasaki and hiroshima during WWII..it was Chuck Norris jumping out of the plane and punching the ground.
All Chuck Norris facts should be told in a respectful whisper, whilst laying one's palms and forehead on the floor.
Chuck Norris never has a plan "B'. He never has a fucking plan 'A' either - all he needs is plan 'C' for Chuck.
Just a little over 50 years ago, Chuck Norris once helped President Kennedy mount a horse when they went horseback riding in Texas. He didn't later help Jack off the horse.
Chuck Norris requires all women with false teeth to remove them and replace them with Brillo Pads before giving him a blow job.
Alls well that ends well. But if your life ends with a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick, all is not well.
Einstein was a genius. Chuck Norris is a genios, genious, and a genius.
Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey. Chuck Norris rode into Jerusalem on a SCUD missile.
Chuck Norris has no friends on Facebook. Just enemies.