Chuck Norris is Strong Enough for a Man, But Made For a Woman.

If a clone was made from Chuck Norris and that clone was one-fourth the size of Chuck Norris, the clone's manhood would be 9 inches long.

You can sometimes guess what Chuck Norris is about to do to you by listening to the music that plays out of nowhere when he settles his terrifying glare on you.

Chuck Norris can roadhouse the air

If you ever have to go to prison, get "property of Chuck Norris" tattooed on your body and you can drop the soap with no fear.

only you can prevent forest fires, only Chuck Norris can prevent roundhouse kicks..he just doesn't try

After The Hulk lost an arm wrestling contest with Chuck Norris, he turned green with envy.

the boogie man was created after Chuck Norris sneezed

Chuck Norris made a pair of toy X-Ray vision glasses really work.

If you see Chuck Norris in the wild, he may eat right out of your hand, because Chuck Norris has no natural predators.

Actually, it was Chuck Norris that fought The Battle of Jericho. Joshua later played taps.

Brian didn't survive Chuck Norris' punch- It was only a ghost who came from undeneath the table. It's hard to tell, because Brian is already white. Gee, I wonder how that happened!

Chuck Norris went to the white house and crapped and pissed on President Barack Obama's desk, just because he is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris Invented Cars so that you can get away from Chuck Norris..... Too bad that cars arent fast enough...us

the direction of the wind is determind by wich way Chuck Norris' but is facing.

Chuck Norris' swiss army knife has over 9,000 seperate tools in it, including some that no human has ever seen before. And it's fucking american, not swiss.

Chuck Norris' denim shirt contains three Robin Williams's worth of chest hair.

Chuck Norris skipped all grades simultaneously, including college. When he was two.

# Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.

Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum balls. he chews bowling balls.