Chuck Norris visited Atlantis once. After the people pissed him off, he vowed revenge. End of story.

Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics." This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.

Chuck Norris created "INCEPTION" to allow people to believe that they had a fighting chance. That is why Bruce Lee never beat Chuck Norris In "Way of The Dragon"

Chuck Norris can knock that chip off your shoulder. Usually your shoulder gets knocked off too.

Despite popular belief God didn't rest on the seventh day...He created Chuck Norris!

Chuck Norris can walk through a hurricane and not have his cigar lose its flame.

Chuck Norris visited Atlantis once. After the people pissed him off, he vowed revenge. End of story.

Dragon Ball Z was based upon all of Chuck Norris's moves

Chuck Norris does not code in cycles, he codes in strikes.

Chuck Norris's favorite word? CHORUS.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep in on Sunday mornings because he has learned that the best time to run little old ladies over with his Hummer is on their way to church.

An interviewer recently asked Chuck Norris what it felt like to lose to Bruce Lee. Chuck Norris unloaded a revolver into her face.

Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked is as likely as seeing a vampire with a suntan.

Chuck Norris ride into town on Friday, stayed three Nights, the rode out again on Friday. On a horse named Steve.

For Chuck Norris, NOT skinning you alive the moment he sets eyes on you is considered one of his warmest greetings.

All Chuck Norris facts should be told in a respectful whisper, whilst laying one's palms and forehead on the floor.

Chuck Norris is so cool, ice cubes want to be exactly like him.

Chuck Norris believes in robbing happiness from the rich and giving pain to the poor.

Chuck Norris was once in Russia, people now remember it as "In Soviet Russia"

Chuck Norris literaly cuts playing cards. The number of craters on the moon matches the exact number of players who complained about that.