Chuck Norris is the alpha and the omega. And all those other fruity letters.

Chuck Norris can break every bone in your body with poetry

Women can develope a case of vaginal warts by simply staring at Chuck Norris' crotch.

Chuck Norris is actually a sensitive, caring lover... because he knows that if he doesn't kill you immediately after, you will be in constant agony knowing you will NEVER have it better.

Submission of Chuck Norris facts is known add inches in males and increased bust size in females.

I, Fabio Lanzoni, am Chuck Norris' youngest son.

CHuck Norris doesn't smoke crack. He cracks smoke.

Do you know why Diablo 3 delayed over and over again? Because Diablo is too scared of Chuck Norris.

Under Armour asked Chuck Norris to protect their house

BB guns are considered nonlethal weapons...except when in the hands of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris invented the soccer ball by dehydrating a zebra.

Hemorrhoids are a pain in the ass. And in legal terms so is a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to 'said same'.

Chuck Norris attacks people from the age of 1-120 and people from A-z

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if the wood chuck was Chuck Norris? All of it.

If you make a spelling or grammar error when typing "Chuck Norris", you immediatly get killed by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris makes the rest of The Expendables look like The Golden Girls.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

How's your life Chuck Norris?

When Chuck Norris switches on his computer, it skips the bootup process and goes straight to the desktop.

Chuck Norris knows you currently have a pornographic website minimised on the screen.