i mean, as a man, meeting another man to try to build a connection outside of an existing social or business context just feels a little strange. that doesn't feel very natural to me. heavy amounts of awkwardness, because the intent is to make a new buddy, but it feels like you're out on a first date.
is it rational to feel this way? no, probably not, but i expect my mental wiring here isn't so dissimilar from that of other men.
i'm noticing on the Venn friend making app that i find it more awkward to swipe right on a man than a woman.
it's something about how the whole user experience is structured. it resembles a dating app too much, so you feel you're signalling interest in a guy by swiping right.
and there is just something a bit awkward about two adult men who are strangers having an intimate one-to-one conversation together as their first encounter.
oh, and since this resembles a dating app so much, people end up using it for dating and hookups anyway.
so, personally, as a man, it's not an appealing option for me to make male friends through. i think it might work a little better for women in that regard, but i'm not sure.
my old landlord made good money working on oil platforms before he became a landlord. no problem with the money.
but not socially successful. socially speaking i think he had difficulty making friends.
and his Slav wife was status-conscious, so she judged him for this lack of social success. to all the tenants, he was pretty domineering and nosy, but to his wife, he was quite submissive.
no one says it out loud, but if you're a Norwegian man and you have to marry a foreign woman instead of a Norwegian one, the implication is that you weren't attractive enough to find one here, so you had to get one from abroad instead, and the woman is perceived to do this to improve her material comfort, so he's essentially her sugar daddy.
Oslo is full of Thai women who divorced from such relationships and ended up working at massage parlours or as prostitutes to make ends meet, because they had no language skills and no network, making it difficult to gain regular employment.
Venn app is supposed to be for friendships and not dating, but works exactly like a dating app, and lets you filter to see people of the opposite sex only...
Tom Scorr | Why are adverts so loud?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Is_wu0VRIqQ
helpfully explains how it's possible for audio to read as loud on a volume meter yet sound quiet to a human and vice versa, and how YouTube, Netflix and Spotify do loudness compensation these days.
if i follow you and i see you post about political drama, i will unfollow you again. posts about what politician X did or said is spam to me, especially if it's US domestic politics, since it doesn't affect us much here across the pond.
the things you do for women. suddenly i'm not drinking anymore.
everyone i talk to who actually finished college and are keeping their job when i tell them i admire that:
"oh haha i'm not so good at it."
well obviously you are compared to me since you kept at it and are still keeping at it.
drinking so much diet cola was a mistake. i'm too jacked up now.
an architect is an abstract thinker who works with concrete.
all this talk of getting a college degree, when so much of it is about networking
my tape deck just ate my cassette and i'm so proud
ElectroBOOM | Wireless Communication with a Cup of Balls, Coherer Effect
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMkdnj698-0
ElectroBOOM's channel is great if you want to learn about electricity through slapstick comedy.
i used to grab a bag of crisps when i wanted a quick snack but i do this kind of stuff now instead - takes almost no effort to prepare, keeps you full for longer and is better for you
alternatively: the girl says "i'm not hot but" and the guy answers "it's not a problem".
i'm not forgetful as such. it's more that i never remember stuff when i actually need it.
i just kind of accept that this happens now and try to not make a big deal out of it
tsk tsk tsk
biblical gf
nostr:npub18c4spuvnddmzrhaqx9jzny8ur0gzakgugkq0jdzt4wql568e95mss3syv6 no, it is - that's how they meant it
nostr:npub18c4spuvnddmzrhaqx9jzny8ur0gzakgugkq0jdzt4wql568e95mss3syv6 i'm telling a joke
nostr:npub18c4spuvnddmzrhaqx9jzny8ur0gzakgugkq0jdzt4wql568e95mss3syv6 no, it is - that's how they meant it
nostr:npub1knckqnd0fjrjnlkxtu4v0c9zfeqqskeshhxwdua6jm7a29damh8sdgjx9d there are a lot of fine distinctions when it comes to type systems. it's more of a spectrum than a binary. but you can do web development - both frontend and backend - just fine in a language with a flexible type system.
types who like to make decisions quickly and early might lean toward more rigid typing while people who like to leave options open might prefer a more flexible one.
i'm meeting someone again that i met this weekend. she has to leave Oslo soon. she has intentions of returning but it'll be a while, and she may go somewhere else altogether for job opportunities.
her job skills are rare but so is the demand for them. in such a small country as this, only a handful of large companies need that skill set. there are currently no job listings for it on the biggest job site in the country.
in a way, it feels like her employer tricked her. they trained her on a niche tech stack, fully aware that it makes you virtually unemployable anywhere else in this country, and then they dumped her when they had no need for her anymore.
she chose to work there and they chose to hire her, so it's all voluntary, but so is a toxic relationship between two consenting adults.
i spent the night at a girl's house
nostr:npub1qfkcklnmes45z75y7y8dkud5yll8vp5eq5ysk9rmgqdxeasv8unsrfj6kq if we're still talking, it's both. you can leave at any time. so can i. but yet here we are.
i feel that a lot of the people who are climate sceptics had no prior interest in natural sciences.
late arrivals, trying to have an opinion on something they're FAR too ignorant for.
anyone who is willing to shut the hell up and listen for a moment...
this is really hard to explain through cheap and easy political points.
those types aren't going to listen. even if the evidence slaps them in the face. they lack the intuition, i think.
some of the smartest business people on earth are planning for climate change issues. and if you bothered to take 5 minutes to investigate the findings, you'd know it's not a natural cycle. it is measurably NOT a natural cycle.
no use arguing though. so i guess this is just me venting.
nostr:npub1qfkcklnmes45z75y7y8dkud5yll8vp5eq5ysk9rmgqdxeasv8unsrfj6kq well, i find you both irritating and interesting at the same time. so that's why that happens.
nostr:npub1qfkcklnmes45z75y7y8dkud5yll8vp5eq5ysk9rmgqdxeasv8unsrfj6kq maybe not the recommended approach for everyone, but, assuming you want to be heard, maybe make them laugh.
nostr:npub1qfkcklnmes45z75y7y8dkud5yll8vp5eq5ysk9rmgqdxeasv8unsrfj6kq very polite response.
nostr:npub1qfkcklnmes45z75y7y8dkud5yll8vp5eq5ysk9rmgqdxeasv8unsrfj6kq well to be honest here, you're a bit agressive and attention-seeking, almost as if you're lonely and not coping with it too well
note that this doesn't say that introverts never talk. nor does it say that they can't be wordy or emotional. this is more about where, when and how often they like to engage with people face-to-face.
nostr:npub1vznay8faq0y8qwxtjhh7yp658rgxcatcyx2gftpmf9qef04lj02sylwauw i mean, there are places like hacker spaces and such, but there are introverts who aren't into STEM
yes, i do in fact care if i hurt people's feelings, because feelings more important to me than being so damned sensible and correct all the time.
most people have probably not had the opportunity to get to know themselves for 3 years with no external pressures shaping them.
i think i've pretty much reached my feral state now. living like a goblin. 😆
i can hear my own thoughts and feeling very clearly now because i have had silence around me for so long. helps when you're trying to figure out who the hell you are, and not what the world wants you to be.
still trying to figure out how to step out of this proverbial womb i'm in right now. a rebirth needs to happen and there will be some screaming.
you can't really build up a portfolio of communicating with people. in computer programming (my old job) i could get hired by showing them examples of my work.
not quite so easy to if what you need is to *develop* those skills first, which you can't exactly do at home. but how do you do that without any qualifications?
a lot of my job ideas seem impossible because i function badly in structured learning environments such as schools.