What did papa butter say to troublesome son butter? You had *butter* behave now, alright son? I sure know you don't want to get *whipped*!
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Why did the woman buy new wine glasses? Because the ones she was using made everything blurry.
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Why do Gastroenterologists have such a passion for their job? Because they find the components of one's stomach very intestine.
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What do you call a blind, legless buck? No eye-deer.
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What was the car doing in the dressing room? Changing attire.
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There are three types of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can't.
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Why do they make Raisin Bran commercials? For raisin bran awareness.
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Why did the SSD burn a flag? Because it was a Patriot Blaze
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What do the French call artificial feet for cats? Faux Paws
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Why does a chicken coup have 2 doors? Because if it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken Sedan.
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If you give a mouse a cookie.. If you give a mouse a cookie.. Why are you giving a mouse any food? That's unsanitary.
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I heard it's a good night to see the Perseid meteor shower... but I haven't heard how it got dirty.
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One Eskimo said to the other, "Where is your mother from?" The second Eskimo says "Alaska."
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What do you call the Hamburglar's accomplice? hamburglar helpler
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What's a pirates favorite letter? You think it's the "R" but it's really the "C". Happy talk like a pirate day!
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What's the best way to capitalize on an opportunity? ON AN OPPORTUNITY
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Why are giraffes' necks so long? Because their heads are so far away from their bodies.
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What did the priest say when watering his garden? Let us spray.
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Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one *tale*
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One fifth of people... ...are just too tense!
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