Did you hear about the production delays at that company that makes scales using lengthy pipes? They had really long weights.
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What's the best way to capitalize on an opportunity? ON AN OPPORTUNITY
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I am not pro gay. I am not even amateur gay. But, I support their rights.
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What did the blue denims say to the black denims? I guess we have different genes!
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Ever heard about that movie called Constipation? It never came out.
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I hate when you're trying to be cheesy but everyone is laughtose intolerant.
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What do you call a dog in a diving bell? A sub-woofer
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Why did the buddhist refuse novocaine when he went to get a tooth pulled? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
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Why couldn't the skeleton cross the street? Because he didn't have the guts!
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Did you see the guy at Walmart hiding from ugly people?
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What is a tuna's favorite city? Albacoreque.
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What's the difference between unlawful and illegal? Unlawful is against the law and illegal is a sick bird.
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James Bond went to get a haircut. The barber asked him if he wanted to dye his hair as well. Bond replied "Dye another day."
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What is the ardent task of searching for a new wallpaper called? Running a Background Check.
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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you can't pick your friend's nose
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Why couldn't the dragon breathe fire? He had a cold
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What do you call a race ran by female horses? A mare-a-thon.
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What do you call a slice of bread from another country? An immigraint.
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What do you do if you see a spaceman? You park in it, man.
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