Just went to an emotional wedding Even the cake was in tiers.
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What do you call a productive Asian? China get something done.
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What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.
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What happens when you steamroll Batman and Robin? They become flatman and ribbon.
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What do you call people who pretend to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day? Counterfitz
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One time, a cow saved my life It was bovine intervention.
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Knock Knock Who's there Boo!! Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke
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What did the mama pig give her baby pig for its rash? ***OINKMENT!***
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What do you call a race run by baristas? A **decaf**alon
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Why didn't the Duke of Windsor let his French servant help him tie his tie? He never does it with a four-in (foreign)-hand.
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What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta
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What do you call a Moroccan candy distributor? A Fez dispenser.
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Did you know that it's traditional to serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap? There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.
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What is H.P. Lovecraft's cook book called? The Necronomnomnomicon.
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A bear and a rabbit are pooping in the woods The bear asks the rabbit - "do you have a problem with poop sticking to your fur?" "Nope" So the bear wipes his butt with the rabbit.
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How do you stop a charging bull? Take away its credit card!
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What did the closed can say to the half opened can? YOU'RE BEING UNCANNY!
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Where did the fish go when it needed an operation? To the sturgeon
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What do you cal a bear with extreme mood swings? A bi-polar bear.
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