Why shouldn't you have coffee while on the clock? Because that would be "grounds" for termination!

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Do you think George Clooney has an iTunes playlist called Clooney Tunes?

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What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree? Camembert!

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I just met someone who was a steam-roller operator. He was such a flatterer.

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This mallard waddled into a bar... Should've ducked.

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Did you hear about that spicy knight? Sir Acha.

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Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? To make up for a lousy summer.

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What is ISIS's favourite dessert? Terrormisu

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What is the medical term for owning too many dogs? A Roverdose

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I came into this subreddit expecting jokes about soap. I am mildly disappointed.

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Did someone say "purple"? Sorry, it must have been a pigment of my imagination!

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What do you call somebody with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumbly.

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Why did the bigamist cross the road? To get to the other bride.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom ... because the "p" is silent

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Why are pirates so mean? I dont know, they just arrrrrrrrr!

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Why did the duck go to the doctor? He had a billious fever.

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Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow weigh a pie. (sounds like way up high)

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Why did the cookie go to the gym? To get in shape.

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At least I now know why the lions leave the plains before the end of summer. Because the Pride goeth before the Fall.

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