Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use the restroom? Because the *p* is silent
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Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse" Says the first. "Moo!" says the second
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Where do weirdos ride their bicycles? Psycho-paths.
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I forgot where I threw my boomerang. Oh wait.. It's coming back to me now.
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Choose a major you love and you won't have to work for a day in your life Because that major probably has no jobs
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I asked my soap who it voted for, and it said: I'd lather not say!
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Why don't you want your nose to be 12 inches long? because then it would be a foot!
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Im trying to get into classical music... but I cant find any original recordings. All the music is performed by cover bands.
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What is robot jazz called? Beep Boop Bop!
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Why did the strawberry cry? Because his mother was in a jam.
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Knock knock. Who's there? Yoda lady. Yoda lady who? Good job yodeling!
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Why did the woman buy new wine glasses? Because the ones she was using made everything blurry.
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What do you call a flower in Florida? Orlando Bloom.
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In what town lives the mathematician who can only multiply by two? Dublin.
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WHAT is Bruce Lee's favorite drink? WAH TAHH!!!!
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Why do cicadas stay up all night chirping irregularly, unable to sleep? Their cicadan rhythm is off
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What do you call a penguin with a smoking problem? It's a puffin!
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