Why do fish live in salt water? Because *pepper* makes them sneeze!
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What do you call a race run by baristas? A **decaf**alon
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Did you hear about the two monocles at the party? They made spectacles out of themselves.
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There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary code and those who do not.
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Why do elephants hide behind trees? To trip ants.
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Why are colds such bad robbers? Because they're so easy to catch!
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My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60... Now hes 97 years old and we have no idea where he is...
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I saw a documentary on how they make jeans... It was riveting.
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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
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A Siri joke!: Two iPhones walk into a bar carrying a set of iPod shuffles. The bartender says: Let those iPods sing, man! He was an iSurfer on iPad mini.
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Why did the fox cross the road? It was chasing after the chicken!
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What did the neutrino say to the planet? Just passing through
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Cogito Ergo Spud. I think, therefore I yam.
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I just found out I'm colorblind It came out of the yellow.
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What did papa butter say to troublesome son butter? You had *butter* behave now, alright son? I sure know you don't want to get *whipped*!
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What has six eyes but cannot see? Three men in a house with dirty dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded and kids that need a bath
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What is irony? Irony is when something has the chemical symbol Fe.
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One potato asks another: -"Are you sure we are related?" -"Yes I yam!"
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You know what I hate about fashion designers? They are so clothes-minded.
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A woman files for divorce from her husband... citing that he makes too many Star Wars puns. When asked if this is true the husband says, "Divorce is strong with this one."
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